Know Your Stars: Naruto Style!
by Hokagehime S.E
Summary: What you never knew about your favorite Naruto stars....Warning: Slight OOCness but funny. Flame me, and I'll flame you back. Don't take this fic seriously.
1. Naruto

Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, well...yeah. However I do own me, S.E. and the donuts. MINE!

* * *

S.E. sat down in her announcing chair, eating donuts. She was up somewhere that was hard to pronounce.

"Huh? Oh! I'm S.E., the announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style. Today, I'm going to torture-er- I mean, _talk about_ people from Naruto!"

She moved her microphone a little to the left and announced.

"Our first victim-_cough cough_- guest, is none other than Uzumaki Naruto!"

The spiky haired blonde walked in, and sitting in the small chair.

"So…why am I here?"

"Because I sent you that invitation…remember?" S.E. said.

Naruto thought.

"Oh yeah! Where's the ramen? I'm hungry!"

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars!"

"Huh? Is it starting already? I haven't ate my ramen yet!"

S.E. slapped her head.

"Naruto….he hates ramen…"

"WHAT? I don't hate ramen! Who told you that?"

S.E. shrugged.

"Not my fault you hate ramen so much."

"I don't hate it!"

"Yeah you do! You plan to…to destroy it!" She wept.

'But I LIKE ramen!"

S.E. ignored him and continued on,

"Naruto….likes to pick other people's noses when they aren't looking."

"Yuck! That's disturbing!"

"I know you are. Just don't pick my nose, nose picker."

"I don't pick other people's noses! And I like ramen!"

"Naruto….he stole my donuts! Where are they?"

Naruto gave her a confused look.

"I didn't steal your donuts! I swear!"

S.E. started to cry.

"You're so mean! You hate ramen, like to pick other people's noses AND you stole my donuts!"

"How could I? You're up there, and I'm down here!" Naruto said.

"You stole my donuts! Who could be so cruel?" S.E. said.

"I didn't steal your donuts!"

"Now you know…..the nose picking, ramen hating, donut stealing fox boy, Naruto!"

"They don't know me! That's lies! Lies lies lies! I want my money back!"

"You didn't pay any money, stupid. I want my donuts back!" S.E. said again.

"I'm leaving!" Naruto walked out.

"Make sure you don't pick other people's noses!" S.E. yelled.

"I don't pick other people's noses!" Naruto called out.

"Now you know Naruto…I'm going to the police department…they'll give me some donuts!"

* * *

S.E.: This is my first Naruto fanfic!

Chi: I can't believe he hates ramen! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!

Natasha: Okaeeee...

S.E.: Look! I got replacement donuts!


	2. Sakura

Sakura

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this. I do own me, S.E. and uhhh that's about it.

* * *

S.E. came back from the police department, holding a twelve pack of chocolate glazed donuts.

"Yum! I'm so glad I forced them to let me have these!"

"S.E.! I don't pay you for nothing!"

"That's right! You don't pay me!"

The boss handed her a hundred dollars.

"Alright, alright. Welcome back! I'm S.E., your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's prey-er- _guest_ is none other than Haruno Sakura!"

The pink haired girl came in, and sat in the chair.

"Wow! I'm going to be so famous! Then Sasuke-kun will HAVE to like me!" Sakura happily said.

"Er…Sakura?"

"Yes?"

"This isn't a TV show. Now shut up!"

She shut up.

(Inner Sakura: Who is she to say shut up to ME!)

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars!"

"I'm going to be a star!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" S.E. yelled at her.

(Inner Sakura: I'm going to kill her!)

"Sakura….she doesn't know the meaning of shut up…."

This angered Sakura.

"I do too!"

"Apparently, you don't. SHUT UP!"

"I do too!"

"No you don't. I just told you to shut up!" S.E. argued.

Silence.

"I do know the meaning of shut up!"

"Then do it!"

(Inner Sakura: Grrrrrr)

"Sakura….ouch! Move your big forehead out the way!" S.E. said.

"I don't have a big forehead…It's not THAT big," Sakura mumbled the last part of her sentence.

"You don't have a FOREHEAD, but an eight-head!"

"Huh?"

"It's so big, I have to use EIGHT fingers to measure it! Ouch!"

(Inner Sakura: DIE!)

"You're not being nice!"

"It was in my job description…NOW SHUT UP, EIGHT-HEAD!" S.E. yelled.

"Grrrr…."

"I said, shut up!" S.E. said.

"Sakura…she wishes she could kiss Naruto…" S.E. said, deviously.

Sakura could have died.

(Inner Sakura: WHAT! GO TO HELL!)

"I like Sasuke-kun, NOT NARUTO! Baka! What makes you think I would kiss that…."

"I read it in your diary…Dear Diary, Naruto is SOOOOO cute! He's soooo much better than Uchiha Sasuke…" S.E. said.

"I don't keep a diary! Naruto's annoying, unlike Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled.

"You're denying your love…."

(Inner Sakura: I'm leaving this hellhole!)

"Now you know….the eight-head, Naruto loving, doesn't know the meaning of shut up, pink haired girl Sakura!"

"They know nothing! You're lying!"

"Stop denying…" S.E. said.

(Inner Sakura: I'm suing!)

"I'm suing!"

"Oh great…"

Sakura left for the nearest law firm.

"Sure hope she's not suing me…."

* * *

S.E.: Who should I do next?

Chi: Uhhh...

Natasha: Sakura came back. She has a lawyer

S.E.: Oh great.

Sakura: You'll pay!


	3. Kakashi

Kakashi

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E. and DONUTS!

* * *

**Wow...I feel special...I got 6 reviews** **:D My self esteem is boosted! Thank you!

* * *

**"Stupid eight head girl….grrr….. Can't believe that lawyer of hers…she took my donuts!" S.E. came stomping in. 

She noticed someone sitting in the chair.

"Who're you?" She asked.

The boy smiled.

"I'm the Beautiful Blue Beast of-,"

She recognized him. Who couldn't?

"Urgh. I was expecting Kakashi, not you, Lee," S.E. angrily said. Lee always annoyed her. No wonder Lee was S.E.'s least favorite person.

"I didn't even give you an invitation!"

"Is this the chair Sakura-chan sat in? Can I have it?"

"I'm here!" Kakashi came in, reading another book of Icha Icha Paradise.

"LEE! GET OUT!" S.E. yelled.

"I WANT THE CHAIR!"

"ALRIGHT! GET THE CHAIR AND GET YOUR BUTT OUTTA HERE!"

Kakashi stared at Lee who was taking the chair with him.

"Get me another chair…hello Kakashi!"

Another chair poofed up and Kakashi sat in it.

"Can you hurry this up? I'm going to go to the bookstore to get another copy of Icha Icha Paradise!"

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…." S.E. spoke into the microphone.

"Hi! I'm back!" Lee shouted.

"AAGH! Security!" S.E. ordered.

Two men in white came to take Lee away.

"Nooooo!" Lee yelled.

S.E. continued on.

"Kakashi…he fears yellow tape…."

"I do not!"

"He's in denial…I knew it!" S.E. said.

"I'm not! Why would I be afraid of tape?"

"You're right. It's yellow tape that scares you."

Kakashi got angry.

"I'm not afraid of yellow tape! There's a LOT scarier things than yellow tape!" Kakashi shouted at the ceiling.

"Kakashi…he keeps ten pounds of spaghetti in his pants…."

"WHAT!"

"You heard me, spaghetti hoarder."

"That's wrong!"

"You're wrong! Who reads that stuff anyway? And spaghetti is bad for your pants!"

Kakashi frowned at her.

"Where are you?"

"Not here," S.E. said.

"Grr…"

"YELLOW TAPE!"

"AAGH!"

"See, I told ya you were afraid of it!"

"You yelled at me, it surprised me, I wasn't-,"

"Kakashi….wishes that he was alive…."

Kakashi cocked his head to the side.

"I am alive."

"Zombie!"

"What the-,"

"You're not alive! Get the grave diggers! Get the pallbearers! Get my donuts!"

"I am too alive! You'll be the one that won't be alive after I deal with you!" Kakashi angrily said.

"How can you walk with all that spaghetti in your pants, zombie?"

"…."

"Now you know…the zombie, spaghetti hoarding, yellow tape fearing perverted ninja Kakashi!"

"They don't know anything about me! Get down here and tell them it's all lies!"

"Zombie!"

"I'm leaving!"

"Good luck trying to walk through the door with all that spaghetti in your pants…" S.E. said.

"Hi! I'm baaaaaack!" Lee announced.

"NO! Not you! Grrrr……" S.E. growled.

S.E. banged her head against the wall.

"OUT!"

Lee walked out again.

"I need a alarm…"

* * *

S.E.: I'm doing Sasuke next, then Shikamaru (thinks of evil plans) and maybe Kiba after that.

Chi: Kiba and Akamaru...(drool)

Natasha: I hate dogs!

S.E.: It figures. You're a cat.


	4. Sasuke

Sasuke

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E. and the donuts!

* * *

I made a mistake last chapter. Is Lee supposed to be the Beauiful Green Beast or Blue? Sorry about that. I blame America for messing everything up! 

Oh, and if you are a **HUGE** fan of Sasuke (which I am not) I suggest you don't read this. I think I might be bashing him. Then again, I don't think ever.

* * *

"Stupid Rock Lee….aagh! Not another threatening note from Kakashi!" S.E. said aloud.

"Huh? Oh! Hello! I am S.E., your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's innocent victim-_COUGH_- guest is none other than Uchiha Sasuke!"

Sasuke walked in, not making a sound.

"Hello Sasuke! I don't like you!" S.E. randomly said.

"Like I care," he said.

"No really, I hate you! It says so on my profile!" S.E. happily said.

"You're worse than Sakura…" Sasuke said.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I'm baaaaaaaack! Again!" Lee bust through the door again.

"NOOO! NOT YOU!" S.E. madly said.

"I want to do it too!"

"No! You're creepy!"

"Please?"

"SECURITY!"

* * *

We interrupt this broadcast as it is too violent, too scary and too random to show to our viewers. We now continue.

* * *

"I hate informercials…" Sasuke mumbled. 

"AND STAY OUT!"

S.E. twitched her left eye and continued on.

"Sasuke…he's the most ugliest chicken I've seen…"

"I'm not a chicken!"

"Shield your children's eyes! Aaagh! His ugliness burns!"

"I am not a chicken! You're ugly! Why am I even yelling at some scum like you?" Sasuke yelled.

"Because…you're an ugly chicken!"

Sasuke had his vein popping out.

"Sasuke…he's very sleepy…"

"I'm not tired! I don't sleep in the daytime!"

"Sounds like someone needs a nap…cranky pants…" S.E. taunted.

"I'm not yawning!"

"Sasuke…he talks about rubber ducks when he's asleep…"

"I don't talk in my sleep!"

"Yeah you do. Explain this tape I recorded last night!" S.E. played a tape recorder.

"Rubber duckies…I love rubber duckies…rubber duckie, you're so fun! You make bathtime loads of fun! I love rubber duckies!" said a deep voice.

Sasuke stood up.

"That's not my voice!"

"Aww…Sasuke worries about his rubber duckies…" S.E. said.

"I hate rubber ducks! I don't talk in my sleep, I'm NOT any ugly chicken, and I'm not sleepy!" Sasuke shouted.

"You really need to go to bed by your curfew, Sasuke. No wonder you always talk in your sleep about rubber duckies."

"I can't stand you!"

"Thanks for the compliment…ugly chicken…."

"I am not poultry!"

"Now you know…the sleepy, rubber duckie sleep talker, and the most ugliest chicken in the world Uchiha Sasuke…"

"It's lies! Damn you!"

"You seriously need to keep away from those rubber duckies…you sleepy ugly chicken!"

"Grrr…." Sasuke left.

"Now you know Uchiha Sasuke! And give me more donuts! Set up an alarm, and I like eggs!"

* * *

S.E.: I really am not a Sasuke fan

Chi: You made that clear earlier

Natasha: You're being redundant

S.E.: Stop using big words!


	5. Shikamaru

Shikamaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E and the donuts. And Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer

* * *

**I am so glad that people like this. I feel special :D

* * *

**

"I am so glad I got more donuts!" S.E. happily skipped in with her donuts. And eggs.

"Who's supposed to come today? Lemme see….uhh…Oh! Nara Shikamaru!" She looked at her list of prey-er-guests.

"I'm S.E., your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Our new sufferer-er-I mean- _guest_ is none other than Nara Shikamaru!"

The genius sat down in the chair.

"Hurry it up, woman!"

"I have a name too you know!" S.E. yelled.

Silence.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I'm bored."

S.E. growled at him.

"Shikamaru….is the most stupidest guy I know…."

"WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Shikamaru yelled at her.

"Exactly. You're so stupid, you didn't know what I said."

"I'm a lot smarter than you, woman!"

"It's S.E.! S and E! Do you even know the alphabet?" S.E. shouted.

"Yes."

"Prove it!"

"A B C D-,"

"BEEP! Wrong!"

Shikamaru had his mouth open.

"What? It is not wrong!"

"This is the alphabet: A Q S Y lemon pie chicken eye! W X C G U 132! 87 eleventy four shoelaces tape and cornchips!" S.E. finished the alphabet.

"That's not the alphabet! You're stupider than me, woman!"

"IT'S S.E.! And that was the alphabet! Did you fail kindergarten?" S.E. said.

"No."

"Shikamaru….he's dating a pineapple named Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer!"

"A…pineapple? Why would I be dating a pineapple? I don't even like pineapple!"

"Hey stupid…I can't believe you forgot your own girlfriend's name! It's Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer!"

"I'm not stupid! And I am NOT dating a pineapple, woman!"

"It's S.E.!"

"Grrrr….."

"Shikamaru…he ate his own mother…."

That set off Shikamaru.

"I am not a cannibal!"

"I can't believe you ate your own mother! How stupid can you be, to resort to cannibalism!" S.E. cried out.

"I didn't eat my mother! I am not dating a pineapple and I am not stupid!"

"Shikamaru…how would Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer feel if you were cheating on her?" S.E asked.

"WHAT?"

"I can't believe it! Shikamaru's cheating on her!"

"Hello! I'm baaaaaack!"

"NO! NOT LEE!" S.E. screamed.

"Why can't I do it?"

"Because you creep me out more than Sasuke does."

"Please?"

"I'm trying to do a TV show here, now leave or else I'll get security!" S.E. threatened.

Lee left, angry that he couldn't do it.

"I'm bored…"

"Now you know…the mother eating,stupid, pineapple dating, cheater 'genius'!"

"They know nothing! Get back down here!"

"No stupid. You better apologize to Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer!" S.E. called out.

All of a sudden, a pineapple wearing make up and a pink dress popped up.

"I can't believe you're cheating on me! We're through!"

_SLAP!_

"Ouch!" It knocked out Shikamaru.

And just like that, the pineapple left.

"Now you know Shikamaru…oops he is unconscious…I hope I don't receive his hospital bills…I want another donut!"

* * *

S.E.: I visited Shikamaru in the hospital today

Chi: What did he say?

Natasha: I think he's out to get you

S.E.: Nah, he's still in casts. He won't EVER find me.


	6. Kiba

Kiba

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E., the rabid elephantand George the pair of sunglasses.

* * *

I got **REALLY MAD** at a review I got from an anonymous reviewer. I'm going to answer them: 

**Chibi (anonymous reviewer)- What makes you think I'm on drugs? I'm NOT on drugs. I'm actually a smart, intelligent person who has a sense of humor. And I DON'T HAVE A MEDICATION, DAMMIT! Second, I am NOT BASHING THEM! I said I MIGHT be bashing them, but I wasn't sure. It's humor, I'm making them be tortured and ''bashed'' as YOU say only for pure entertainment. Third, this is a HUMOR fic. If you don't think this is funny, fine. Leave me and my stories alone! Got that?**

I **HATE** people who are like that. Luckily, I was cheered up by more reviews saying it was funny. I hope I never, EVER get reviews like that again!

* * *

"Shikamaru came out of the hospital today," S.E.'s boss told her. 

"So?"

"You might want to watch out."

"Uh…okay."

The boss left and S.E. continued on.

"Hi! I'm S.E. and I'll be your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Our new victim-_cough cough_- _guest _is none other than Inuzuka Kiba! And his dog, Akamaru!" S.E. called out to where Kiba and his dog were coming in.

"So…why am I here?" Kiba asked.

"Because. You got that invitation, REMEMBER?" S.E. said.

"….oh…."

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars."

"…."

"Kiba…in his past life….he was a turkey sandwich…."

Kiba looked at her with a confused look.

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't a turkey sandwich. Right, Akamaru?" Kiba asked his dog.

"Poor guy…he doesn't even remember his meaty self…." S.E. sighed.

"What?"

"I bet you died because someone ate you."

"You're not making any sense! That's lies!" Kiba raised his voice.

"……..grrrr….." Akamaru growled.

"That's right, Akamaru!"

"Kiba…..he's allergic to dogs…."

Kiba looked shocked.

"I am NOT allergic to dogs! I have a dog! See? SEE!" He angrily pointed to Akamaru sitting on his head.

"Poor guy….he's so allergic, he's having delusions…one of my favorite characters is going mad!" S.E. cried.

"I AM NOT GOING MAD! I'M NOT ALLERGIC TO DOGS, I WAS NEVER A TURKEY SANDWICH AND…." Kiba couldn't think of what else he was mad at.

"Kiba….his best friend is a pair of sunglasses…."

"What?"

"Your sunglasses. It's your friend, right?"

"No! I don't have any friends who are sunglasses!" Kiba yelled.

"His name is George….right?"

"Wrong! First you say I was a turkey sandwich, then you say I'm allergic to dogs and NOW you say my best friend is a pair of sunglasses?"

"Poor, poor Kiba. He was forced to become friends with George…"

"That's it! I am leaving!" Kiba shouted.

"Make sure you don't get near those dogs….you might get hives...or worse!"

"Stop saying that!"

"Now you know the once-turkey-sandwich, dog allergic and a sunglasses's best friend inu trainer."

"LIAR!"

"Now you know….Inuzuka Kiba…." S.E.'s voice began to fade away.

"I'm baaaack! This time, it's my turn, RIGHT?" Lee popped out of nowhere.

"STOP POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE, LEE!" S.E. screeched.

"But I-,"

"LEAVE! Or I'll sic the rabid elephant on you!"

He walked away, mumbling.

"I hate you S.E.!" Kiba yelled.

"Don't hate, appreciate!" S.E. rhymed.

"Come back down here! We'll settle this now! I'll fight you!"

"Make sure you don't hurt your turkey sandwich self, Kiba," S.E. laughed.

"Grrrrrr….."

* * *

S.E.: Who should I torture next? 

Chi: I dunno

Natasha: Me neither

S.E.: You guys are no fun!


	7. Gai

Gai

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E. and Samantha the pickle and Ichael Mackson

* * *

**Oh, and I must thank Shadow-Sensei for giving me an idea...thank you! I feel special people like this :)**

* * *

S.E. looked at her new victims on her list.

"Great….I'm scheduled for Maito Gai…." She mumbled.

She pulled the microphone up her and said,

"Hello! I'm S.E., your executioner-_cough cough_- announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Our new victim is none other than Maito Gai…."

Suddenly, Gai popped out of nowhere and sat in the chair.

"Ah, the power of youth!" He did one of those weird poses again.

"STOP DOING WEIRD POSES!" S.E. shouted.

"So…..why am I here? To discuss how the youth today is-,"

"Bla bla bla….jeez, you're worse than Lee!" S.E. shouted.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

Gai did another weird pose.

"Gai….he's Michael Jackson's lost twin brother named Ichael Mackson….."

Gai perked up to this.

"Why would I want to be a destroyer of men's youth? Tell me!"

S.E. inched away.

"Whatever….Ichael Mackson…"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Well gee, it's not my fault you're Michael Jackson's twin brother. I'd be pretending I wasn't related to him too…." S.E. sighed.

"….."

"Gai….he does weird poses because he's an Italian male supermodel…"

"You think I could be a male supermodel? I'd feel youth-,"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE YOUTH ALREADY!" S.E. screeched.

"I don't recall myself being a male supermodel…"

"That's your secret identity so that way no one knows you're Ichael Mackson…." S.E. said.

"I'm not related to him!"

"Yeah you are….Ichael…."

"I'm Maito Gai, the-,"

"Please! No more youth speeches!"

"…"

"Gai…he's the guy who's dating a pickle….named Samantha…."

"I don't know any pickles named Samantha….and I'm not dating…"

"Right….Ichael….right…."

"I'm not!"

"How would Samantha, your pickle lover feel if you told her you hated her on National TV?"

"For the last time I-,"

"NO! NO MORE SPEECHES!" S.E. covered her ears.

Gai gave her a confused look.

"Now you know the pickle dating, Italian male supermodel who's related to Michael Jackson and his name is Ichael Mackson sensei…."

"That's not true! Get down here and tell them it's not true!"

"Not likely. Plus, don't you have a modeling show to go to, Ichael?" S.E. asked.

"Gai-sensei! I've found you!" Lee appeared happily.

S.E. was about to faint.

"NO! NOT TWO LEE LOOK ALIKES! EEEGH!" S.E. screamed like a little girl.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Uhhh….I'm going to be sick…."

"Gai-sensei!"

_A few weird poses and youth speeches later…._

"Now you know….Maito Gai….urgh…I feel sick…" 

"Can I go?" Lee asked, beaming.

"NO!" S.E shouted.

Lee pouted as he left with Gai.

"I am going to be sick….now my head's filled with mental images of Gai…."

* * *

S.E.: Ichael Mackson is an inside joke between me and my friends.

Chi: Who are you going to do next?

Natasha:...maybe Gaara...

S.E.: I'm doing Shino next, then Gaara and Orochimaru after that. I don't have the heart to torture Hinata (she's one of my favorites), so you're not going to see one on Hinata.

Lee: -pops up next to S.E.- Why can't I be on the show?

S.E.: -scoots away- Because unless you shave off most of your eyebrow hair, get rid of that bowl cut and get out of that green suit, then we'll talk...


	8. Shino

Shino

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E. and...darn! That's it!

* * *

**I must thank Shadow-Sensei AGAIN for the great ideas! Arigato!

* * *

**"S.E., Sasuke, Kakashi and Shikamaru all sent threatening letters to you," S.E.'s boss handed the girl three letters. 

"Not again! It's the sixth time this hour! Stupid rubber duckie boy…." S.E. grumbled as she shred them through the paper shredder.

She got the microphone and started to say,

"Hello! I'm S.E., your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's guest is none other than one of my favorites, Aburame Shino!"

Shino came in, quietly.

"Jeez, you're quiet."

"……"

"I see."

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

Shino was still quiet. And breathing.

"Shino….he has no eyes…."

Cricket cricket

"Aren't you going to say 'no'?" S.E. asked, confused.

"……"

S.E. sighed and said,

"I mean, why do you even bother wearing sunglasses? You have NO EYES!"

"……."

"Stop being so quiet! Why you're one of my favorites, I don't know, but talk at least two words!"

"I did."

S.E. counted on her fingers.

"That was only six! Not two!"

"……."

"Shino……he's an evil mad scientist….that's why he has that jacket….."

S.E. waited for him to answer.

"…….."

"Grrr….Shino, say something!"

"Something."

S.E. was about to get out an axe and go down to Shino herself then Furry Eyebrows happened to pop up.

"Hi S.E.!"

"AIEEEEE! No!" S.E. dropped her axe.

"Can I do it?"

"NO! I'M DOING SHINO RIGHT NOW, SASQUATCH!"

"Sasquatch?"

"……" went Shino.

"Yes, Sasquatch. Now, outta my face!"

Lee pouted again as he walked back out.

"Sorry Shino. Lee always pops up," S.E. gritted her teeth.

"….."

Then S.E. got an evil idea, which is weird because she usually doesn't have good ideas.

"Shino….he hates bugs!" S.E. shouted.

"What did you say?" Shino said, in a low voice.

"AHA! I made you speak! Go S.E.!" S.E. laughed.

"You're saying I hate bugs?"

"Yeah. Poor buggers, you despise them so much…." S.E. sighed.

You could see a vein in Shino's head.

"Hee hee ha hee hee! Shino, what are you doing with that fist?"

* * *

We interrupt this program as it is too violent, so out of character and pink flying ice cream trucks named Stephanie. You didn't hear the last words. We now continue.

* * *

"Shino makes….uhhhh…an excellent point…..urrrr…." S.E. was dizzy and almost fainted. 

"……" Shino said, having a bug on his shoulder.

"Now you know….the no eyed, evil mad scientist, bug hater bug boy….I'm gonna take some Advil….."

Shino shook his head and left.

"Now you know….Aburame Shino….urgh…."

"I'm baaaaaaaaaaack, and more youthful-," Lee burst through the door after Shino quietly left.

"NO MORE YOUTH SPEECHES! I'm suffering enough already!" S.E. cried out.

* * *

S.E.: Yeah, I think I'll do Neji after Orochimaru! Who do you want next?

Chi: Look! It's Shikamaru! In a wheelchair! -points to Shikamaru in wheelchair-

Natasha: Oooooh...this doesn't look good...

S.E.: EEP!


	9. Neji

Neji

Disclaimer: Me and Kishimoto-sama has a checkers game to see who could own Naruto. I lost. I only own me, S.E. and...darn you Kishimoto-sama, you cheated!

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**I would like to thank Shadow-sensei AGAIN, Mimiru-Sama and HoukiboshiHikari for the great ideas! I love you guys (gets weird looks) Not like that!**

**Oh, and I kinda forgot the order for everyone, so this is my new list after Neji: Orochimaru, Tenten, Gaara, Ino, Chouji, and Temari. If you would like to suggest anyone else, let me know by putting the person in your review!**

**Note: This chapter may seem OOC, but you're wrong, it is! Be prepared, I warned you.**

**

* * *

**

S.E. was sitting in one of those fun spinny chairs and spinning around like a total idiot.

"Wheeeeeee! Er-hello! I'm S.E., your host for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style. Today's guest was supposed to be Gaara, but since he's away probably killing people, I had him replaced with none other than Hyuuga Neji!" S.E. said, still spinning around.

The prodigy walked in and said,

"I am NOT sitting in that chair! The Main House is probably conspiring against me and wanted to make me sit in a chair that doesn't even look like one!" Neji did a speech.

"Aiyiyi…Neji…please don't let me get started on Lee…." S.E. slapped her head.

Neji unhappily sat down in the 'chair' and folded his arms.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

"Is this a plot against me?"

"NO! Neji, lighten up!" S.E. shouted.

"….." Neji said.

"Neji…he LOVES Tenten….."

Neji blushed like madly, but then shook it away.

"WHAT? Who told you that-er- how dare you make fun of me, Neji!" Neji stood up.

"Gee Neji….don't get all upset. We all know you love Tenten! Admit it!" S.E. said, then the audience was chanting 'Admit it'.

"I hate you! You're as bad as the-,"

"NO MORE SPEECHES ABOUT THE MAIN HOUSE! PLEASE SPARE MY EARS AS I HAVE ALREADY SUFFERED LEE'S SPEECHES OF YOUTH!" S.E. bellowed.

Neji winced but then resumed his original form.

"Lee was here?"

"Yeah, but since he's annoying and a weirdo, he's not going to be on this show," S.E. said.

"I see your point…" he mumbled.

This gave S.E. an excellent idea.

_I can torture Neji!_

Oops, that wasn't it. Oh well.

S.E. grinned mischievously and started to say,

"Y'know, you don't love Tenten. Neji…he's gay!" S.E. blurted out.

He dropped his jaw.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?"

S.E. shrugged.

"You said you didn't love Tenten, so I figured you were gay."

"Just because I have long hair does NOT mean I'm gay!" Neji yelled.

"You love Rock Lee!"

All of a sudden Lee appeared and Tenten appeared too, holding a meatball sub. Yum.

"NEJI! I can't believe you're gay! You're so wrong!" Tenten cried out.

"Neji…you love me? Ack! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Lee said, angrily. Yes, he was angry. Don't see that often.

Neji was humiliated.

"I am not gay, I like Tenten!" He accidentally said.

Tenten lit up.

"NEJI! You aren't gay! I knew it!" Tenten ran over to give him a hug, but S.E. appeared and said,

"Due to the genre of this show, it's humor, NOT romance. Take your love somewhere else! Although you guys do make a cute couple," S.E. mumbled the last part.

The audience gasped. So did Lee.

"Fine. C'mon Neji," Tenten dragged Neji, who was probably thinking of trying to escape.

"Wow. Who knew that would happen? I DID!" S.E. said.

"So….can I go? PLEEEEEEEASE?" Lee batted his eyes.

"Don't do that. I already have images of Gai in my head thanks to YOU!" S.E. shouted.

Lee looked confused.

"Me?"

"No. But I feel like blaming you."

Lee walked away.

"Now you know the Tenten liking, not gay but is gay Hyuuga prodigy…man that was short…." S.E. said.

A far away voice shouted,

"I'M NOT GAY!"

S.E. got back up in that hard to pronounce place and started to spin around on that spinny chair.

"Wheeeeeeeee! That's all for today! Now you know Hyuuga Neji!" S.E. spun around and around.

"They know nothing about me! You're from the Main House and you're trying to fill the minds of people with lies!" Neji said.

"No more speeches…" S.E said, still spinning around.

"I heard that!" Neji yelled.

"Neji, shut up!" Tenten yelled at him.

"Haha! Wheeeeee!" S.E. said, spinning around.

* * *

S.E.: That was a fun chapter :) 

Chi: I wonder where Tenten dragged Neji

Natasha: Me too.

(far away in the junior men's department)

Neji: No!

Tenten: But it looks nice on you! Come back Neji, or I'll throw something at you!

Neji: Aaagh!


	10. Orochimaru And Kabuto

Orochimaru and Kabuto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or My Little Pony, and you know it. I just own me, S.E., Moonshinysparklystar the All Powerful Princess Pony...and that's it.

* * *

**I would like to thank Shadow-sensei (you're such a great help), Fairy Puck (for suggesting Kankuro) and HH (sorry, but your name is REALLY long, so I'll call you HH! I thank you for suggesting Itachi).**

**Okay, my new list: Itachi will come after Temari, and Kankuro will be after Itachi. **

**As for you, Chibi, who reviewed last chapter, I didn't understand a heck of what your review meant. As I said in Chapter Six, please leave me and my stories alone. Maybe somebody else will appreciate them, but I don't. You probably aren't even a registered member. So leave. That's all I have to say.**

**Warning: Some OOC moments. A itty bit of stereotyping. Not sure about bashing. Read at your risk, this may cause laughing so hard, you'll explode.**

**

* * *

**S.E. was eating a cookie as she flipped through the pages of all of her remaining victims-er- guests. 

"Looks like Orochimaru is up next, and Kabuto," she said with a grin. She didn't care much for Orochimaru, mainly because he looked like a girl and was annoying (to S.E. anyway).

"Welcome back! I'm S.E. your bringer of pain-er _cough cough hack hack_- announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's new prey-er I mean- guest is none other than….Orochimaru! And Kabuto!"

The evil guy walked in and sat in the chair.

"Is this Sasuke's chair?"

"Er…sure?"

"Kabuto, bring this chair back to my lair!" Orochimaru called for the silver haired glass eyed person named Kabuto.

He dragged the chair back.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"Was Sasuke here before?"

"Maybe. Now shut up."

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"Orochimaru…he IS Michael Jackson! No wonder you use all those masks…and you love yaoi…."

"I would never be as evil as that man, yes he's even eviler than me…..he's my role model…."

S.E. took some steps back.

"Er…okay?"

"I am evil! But I'm not Michael Jackson."

"Yes you are. I don't blame you, changing your name and changing your identity…and you have a twin brother named Ichael Mackson!" S.E. shouted.

Far away, Gai's voice was heard and he said,

"I'M NOT ICHAEL MACKSON!"

"Whatever…" S.E. sighed.

"Where's Sasuke?"

"Gone."

"Darn…I missed him…"

S.E. sweatdropped.

"Orochimaru….we all know why you bite Sasuke and gave him that curse…." S.E. said.

Orochimaru stood up.

"You do? Darn paparazzi…" Orochimaru said.

S.E. scooted away from him.

"Orochimaru…he's such a nerd…"

"Nerd? What is a 'nerd'?"

"Y'know, geeky looking, wears glasses, etc."

"You must mean Kabuto is a 'nerd'?" Orochimaru asked.

"Erm…sure?"

"KABUTO! YOU'RE A NERD!" Orochimaru shouted.

"What did you say?"

"You are a nerd!"

"Just because I wear glasses, wear pocket protectors and like to read Science Weekly does not mean I'm a nerd. Aren't you supposed to be torturing Orochimaru, S.E.?" Kabuto said.

"No. I'm torturing both of you. I'm just usually torturing Orochimaru,"

"….."

"Orochimaru….he and Kabuto play My Little Pony…."

"WHAT?"

"You heard me…My Little Pony…"

"Who told you that-er- what is a 'My Little Pony'?"

"Orochimaru! Your package of My Little Pony ponies arrived today! Oooh! It has Meriwether, Rainbow Dash, Pinky Pie, and Moonshinysparklystar the All Powerful Princess Pony!" Kabuto remembered.

"Oh yippee! I was waiting for that package!" Orochimaru jumped up and down, then noticed the gaping looks from S.E. and the audience.

"Er….they're for my sister?"

"But you don't have a sister!" Kabuto said.

"Now you know…the Michael Jackson, best friends with a nerd, love biter, and My Little Pony lover evil guy!"

"Stop making fun of Moonshinysparklystar!" Orochimaru said.

"….Okaeee….Michael Jackson…." S.E. said.

"It's lies! It looks like the truth, but it's not!" Kabuto said.

"Now you know….Orochimaru and Kabuto….." S.E. said.

"No, I want Moonshinysparklystar!"

"But I paid for them!" Kabuto argued.

"But…" Orochimaru said.

S.E. shook her head.

"That's just sad…hey! Oh! A donut! Mine!" S.E. went back up to that hard to pronounce place and started to eat donuts while Kabuto and Orochimaru were fighting over who would get Moonshinysparklystar, the All Powerful Princess Pony…

* * *

S.E.: OMG! Lee didn't appear! YAY! 

Lee: That's because I was training with Gai-sensei!

S.E.: No! Not Gai!

Lee: O.o

S.E.: EEEK! You're Sasquatch!

Lee: Stop calling me that!

S.E.: NO!


	11. Tenten

Tenten

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Matrix. I do own me, S.E. and that's it.

* * *

**I would like to thank all my loving reviewers that have been with me since the first chapter. **

**Haku will come after Kankurou.**

**I am getting fed up with people saying that I'm ''bashing'' them or any other crap. DO NOT TAKE THIS FIC SERIOUSLY! IT'S HUMOR, DAMMIT! Grrr... Thank you MomiGrl729!**

**Gaara will be next...oh...I hope he won't kill me...**

**Warning: umm...maybe OOC? I don't know that much about Tenten...and beware, this one is probably one of the funniest by far!**

**Now on with the fic!**

**

* * *

**S.E. crossed off Orochimaru and Kabuto on her death list-er- list. 

"Haaaaah……..good times….aieeee! BUGS! SHIIIIIINO!" S.E. screamed, finding hundred of bugs inside of a drawer in S.E.'s desk.

"I'll get him for that….uh? Oh! Hello, I'm S.E., your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's guest is…erm…Tenten….with no name…" S.E. announced in her microphone.

Tenten walked in, and sat in the chair.

"Oooh…this is going to be…interesting…." Tenten looked around, then fixing her buns (on her head).

"So…Tenten, what did you force Neji to wear?"

A far away voice was heard.

"DON'T TELL!"

S.E. sweat dropped.

"Ehh…okaee….know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"Was Tsunade here?"

"Er….no."

"Oh," Tenten sighed.

S.E. began.

"Tenten….she's afraid of her own hair…."

Tenten nervously laughed.

"Of course I'm not…eheh…why do you say that?"

"Now I know why you always keep your hair up….so you can't see it."

"No, I keep it up because-,"

"Because you're afraid of it! No other logical explanation!" S.E. punched the air.

"That's not logical! I'm not afraid of my own hair!"

"Uhuh."

"No I'm not!"

"Yeah, you are."

Seeing as you can never win an argument against S.E., Tenten stopped talking.

"Tenten….her butt is actually covered in butter…"

"What did you say?"

"Hey Butter Butt! Stop hogging all that butter!"

"I'm not hogging any butter! Especially not on my own butt!"

"Liar!"

"But I don't!"

"Tenten…she's actually a telemarketer in disguise…"

"I hate telemarketers! Why would I want to be one?"

"AAAAGH! YOU'RE SELLING ME SOMETHING!" S.E. ran under her desk.

"No I'm not!"

"You're afraid of your hair, Butter Butt!"

"Stop calling me that! And I'm not afraid of my own hair!"

"Stop selling me that!"

"Selling what?"

"I don't know, maybe your hair, since you want to get rid of it so badly."

"Why would I sell you MY hair? I'm not afraid of it!" Tenten shouted.

"Tenten….when no one is looking…she does the Matrix…"

Tenten gaped.

"What? What's the Matrix?"

"AAGH! STOP SELLING ME STUFF!" S.E. yelled.

"I don't know what a Matrix is!" Tenten said.

"Now you know…the butter hogging, butter coated butt telemarketer, afraid of her own hair Matrix copier weapons girl!"

"That's not true! It's specious!"

"What's specious, Butter Butt?"

"It means that it's-,"

"No! Stop doing the Matrix AND selling me stuff! I don't want your hair!" S.E. cried out.

"THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO THROW SOMETHING AT YOU!"

You can't find me!"

"I got my kunai!"

"Uh oh…now you know Tenten!" S.E. quickly said as she dodged Tenten's weapons.

* * *

S.E.: This one was kinda hard, but it paid off! 

Chi: Look! There's Kiba...

Natasha: REEEOW!

S.E.: Uh oh...Natasha's afraid of Akamaru...

Kiba: Get them! I'm not a turkey sandwich!

-everybody runs from Kiba and Akamaru-


	12. Gaara

Gaara

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, all hell would break loose.

* * *

**And now...the person all of you have waited for...the only...Gaara! Thanks guys, I got loads of reviews, and I was surprised. This is the most reviewed fic I have :) **

**I worked really hard on this one, so I hope it turned out okay!**

**Warning: Maybe OOC. Lots of Gaara fangirls. You might die of laughing reading this. Don't send me your funeral bills.**

**Don't flame, and don't take this fic seriously. That's all I have to say.**

**

* * *

**"Hey look! I found my donut! I can't believe Tenten stole all my donuts BUT this one! Oooh, it has sprinkles!" S.E. said, diving under a chair that hid a sprinkled donut. Tenten had caused destruction with her kunai and other sharp pointy things. And stole eleven donuts. 

"S.E., he'll be here in about five minutes!" The boss said.

"I know that!"

"Look! Another threatening note! Oh, it's from Sakura!"

"Grrr…"

S.E. shredded the note and then set up the chair and ran up back to that hard to pronounce place.

"Sorry about the mess. I BLAME YOU TENTEN! Anyway, welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your contract killer-er- _I mean announcer_! Now, the person we've all been waiting for, the one and only….Gaara of the Desert!"

S.E. announced and pointed to the door.

_Cricket cricket._

"I SAID, GAARA OF THE DESERT!"

Suddenly, the door flew open, as thousands of fangirls appeared. If you looked closely, you could see Gaara.

"Uhuh, Gaara's here," S.E. sighed.

Gaara pushed them away as he slammed the door shut, as the thousands of fangirls were screaming Gaara's name.

Gaara mumbled something then looked around.

"Is this it?" He mumbled.

"Being chased by fangirls again, Gaara?"

"Yes. And who said that?"

"I did."

"Where?"

"Up here. Now sit in that chair."

Gaara, having nothing else to do on his to do list besides smite people, sat in the chair.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

"Explain, why am I here?"

"Invitation, remember. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"No. Continue on, before you become a waste of my time and kill you," Gaara said.

"Gaara…when he gets mad…his siblings give him a teddy bear named Mr. Pumpkins…who says 'I wuv you Gaara' when you hug him…"

"A teddy bear?...Kankurou….how could he? I mean, a teddy bear?" Gaara shouted.

"You forgot Mr. Pumpkins? Fiend!" S.E. gasped loudly.

"Why would I have a ridiculously named stuffed bear that talks?"

"Awww…Gaara and Mr. Pumpkins….the most cutest thing I've ever heard of…"

"I'm going to kill you if you keep talking lies."

S.E., fearing Shukaku, (not Gaara), stopped.

"Wait until Mr. Pumpkins hears this…Gaara's gonna be in trouble…"

Gaara ignored her.

"Gaara…he spies on Temari…" S.E. said.

"Why would I? And no, I don't."

"Explain these pictures I got from somebody-that-shall-not-be-revealed?" S.E. showed some pictures on a screen that magically appeared out of nowhere.

"That's not me!" Gaara said.

"I can't believe it! Gaara, he's…he's…LYING!" S.E. said.

"Who gave you those fake pictures? I'll kill them…" Gaara was about to use one of his sand jutsus until S.E. shouted,

"Gaara…he is actually a princess!"

This certainly stopped Gaara.

"What?"

"Hi Princess Gaara!"

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" Gaara roared.

"Whoa…that was unexpected…Princess Gaara, you should not yell so loudly on National TV!" S.E. grinned.

Gaara grit his teeth.

"How dare you-,"

"Bla bla bla Gaara…"

"HI S.E.! And Gaara!" Lee popped up.

"GACK!" S.E. and Gaara both said, but for different reasons.

"What? Please, I want to do it too!" Lee said.

"No. Stop being overly enthusiastic, Sasquatch," S.E. said.

Lee walked away, pouting as he walked out.

"He does that all the time?"

"Yes Princess Gaara."

"Stop calling me that!"

S.E. smiled and then deviously said,

"Now you know…the teddy bear loving, sister spier, princess of the sand…"

"I'm going to kill you."

"SECURITY!"

And like that, Gaara went up in his sand cloud of his, and got away.

"Great…now you know Gaara…I'll find you Princess Gaara!"

* * *

-Far Away- 

"Mr. Pumpkins, are you okay? Kankurou didn't scare you, did he? And how did she find out about you, Mr. Pumpkins?" Gaara smiled as he hugged Mr. Pumpkins who said,

"I wuv you Gaara."

* * *

S.E.: Awww...so cute :)

Chi: Yum! Pumpkins!

Natasha: Er...I see a bunch of fangirls...angry ones...

S.E.: Hide in the fangirl shelter!

-S.E., Chi and Natasha hide in a small box-

Chi: It's not working!

S.E.: We got to keep our defenses up!

Natasha: Weneed to find a bigger box...


	13. Ino

Ino

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does, even though he cheated in checkers! In the meantime, I own S.E., the Hair Police and Riyo.

* * *

**I just got a review on the chapter I did on Neji, and I'm angry! PEOPLE, READ THE SUMMARY! DO NOT TAKE THIS FIC SERIOUSLY, GOD DAMMIT! **

**Grrr...they really need to read and not take things SO seriously...**

**Okay, now I need ideas for Chouji...he'll be next...muwhahaha...**

**Warning: Uhh...OOCness? Don't flame me, and PLEASE don't take this fic seriously.**

**

* * *

**"Have you found Gaara yet?" S.E. asked Riyo, one of her security people. 

"Sorry S.E., no sign of him."

"Thanks anyway. Keep searching!" S.E. ordered, snacking on a donut.

Riyo nodded, then left.

"I'll find you Gaara….hm? Oh? Oh! Hello! I'm S.E., your hitman-_I mean announcer_- for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Our next guest is none other than Yamanaka Ino!" S.E. announced, flipping on the microphone.

Ino came walking in.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Ino yelled.

S.E. slapped her head.

"I am. Got your invitation?"

Ino, still not sure about where the voice was, showed it up in the air.

"Good. NOW SIT!" S.E. bellowed.

Ino looked around.

"I don't see a chair."

"Yeah you do!"

A chair popped up.

Ino sat in it.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

"Wait! Was Sasuke here?"

S.E. twitched her eye.

"WHY IS EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH SASUKE!" She roared.

"He's the best!" Ino cheered.

"Ino…when no one is looking…she steals Chouji's chips…."

Ino gasped.

"Why would I steal chips! I'm trying to watch my figure, not gain weight!" Ino yelled.

"Poor Ino…hey Ino! What kind of chips do you like?"

"I don't like chips!"

"Yeah you do!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"OOOOOH! CATFIGHT!" A random person from the audience yelled out.

S.E. looked at the person.

"SECURITY!"

"No! Not the happy hotel….not again!"

Sweat drops.

"Ino…she dyes her hair with bleach!"

Ino dropped her mouth.

"That's not right!"

"Yeah, not to me. I can't believe you do that! We need to call the Hair Police!" S.E. randomly pulled out a cell phone and began dialing up the Hair Police.

"But my hair was naturally this color!"

"Hair Police, this is S.E.! I've got a bad case of bleached hair!"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? What did you say?"

Ino gave her an angry face.

"I did not bleach my hair!"

"Yes. You did. Stop denying!" S.E. said.

"I hate you!"

"The Hair Police should be here in about twenty minutes!" S.E. exclaimed.

All of a sudden, Lee burst through the door.

"HI! IT'S ME, THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA!"

"Aaagh!" S.E. shouted.

"I saw a bunch of people clad in red with shirts saying 'Hair Police'!" Lee said.

"Good for you, Sasquatch. Now…OUT! Before I get an organized group of hitmen after you!" S.E. threatened.

Lee folded his arms.

"I'll be back again, with all my youth and-,"

"SPARE MY EARS!" S.E. shouted.

He left.

"He does that all the time?" Ino asked, a little freaked out by Lee's outburst.

"Unfortunately, yes Ino."

Silence.

"Ino…she has a pool filled with mayonnaise.."

A lot of people gasped.

"Ewww!" Ino said.

"I know, Ino! How could you do something so unsanitary!"

"No, that's wrong! I don't have a pool filled with mayonnaise!" Ino spoke.

"Ino…she's melting…"

Ino looked at herself.

"I'm not. You must be hallucinating!"

"Ino! You're dripping all over the place! I just had this place cleaned…" S.E. sighed.

"I'm not melting! Stop lying!"

S.E. took in a deep breath.

"Now you know…the chip stealing, hair bleaching, mayonnaise pool owning melting girl…."

"That's not true!"

"Now you know…Yamanaka Ino…"

"I'm leaving!"

"Try not to steal chips!" S.E. warned.

"I don't steal chips!" Ino shouted.

"Riiiight Ino. Riiiight…." S.E. shook her head

Then, right after Ino left, the Hair Police came in.

"We likerecieved a call saying someone, like, totally bleaches their hair. Who like is this girl?" One of the officers said, putting on makeup.

"Er...sorry, she just left that way," S.E. pointed.

The Hair Police officer nodded.

"Like, thank yah! C'mon gals, we, like, got a code 027799! I, like, repeat, code 027799!" She lead the way out the door, followed by the other Hair Police.

S.E. shuddered.

"I feel sorry for Ino when she meets them...tsk tsk...ooh! DONUT!" S.E. pounced on a donut.

* * *

S.E.: I wonder how Ino is doing. 

Chi: The Hair Police is creepy...I can't believe people talk like that...

Natasha: I know -shudders-

S.E.: Why is everyone shuddering?


	14. Chouji

Chouji

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I might as well try ruling the world. But I do own Kathy the bakery and Riyo.

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**Hello! I thank you for all the reviews. Hope you enjoy this. Oh, and I put up a Naruto one shot called What Game? It was based on a dream I had...you can check it out if you want!**

**Warning: Maybe OOCness. Remember, no flames or I'll flame you back. Don't take this fic seriously.**

**

* * *

**"So….did the Hair Police catch Ino?" S.E. asked Riyo, her trusty security man. 

"No. They're still looking. And Gaara's gone," Riyo said, sadly.

S.E. sighed.

"'Kay. Thanks Riyo," S.E. dismissed him and went up in that hard to pronounce place.

"Yum…I love donuts," S.E. said, chomping on a donut as she crossed out _Yamanaka Ino_ on her list.

"Hello! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your slayer-er I mean- _announcer_! Today's guest is Akimichi Chouji!"

S.E. tapped her desk with her fingers and yelled in the microphone,

"I SAID CHOUJI!"

Chouji came busting through the door.

"I'm here! Got the invitation too!"

"Ah, how good. So…has Ino been stealing your chips?" S.E. asked, knowing Chouji didn't know the heck S.E. was talking about.

"Er…no?"

"Ah, but Chouji, she is. She admitted it here just yesterday," S.E. said.

Chouji looked at his bag of chips he was holding.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Chouji sat in the chair, surprisingly not breaking because this time, it was made out of steel!

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…." S.E. said.

Chouji was still munching on chips.

"Chouji….he's so skinny and fat at the same time…"

Chouji looked at himself.

"Is that even possible?"

"You're in the headlines: CHOUJI: THE FAT AND SKINNY NINJA

"That's not a headline! It looks like something you scribbled,"–munch munch-"on a piece of paper."

"What makes you say that?" S.E. asked, looking at the flimsy piece of paper.

Munch munch.

"Chouji….he's actually the Pillsbury Dough Boy…."

"Huh? Who's that?"

S.E. slapped her head.

"The Pillsbury Dough Boy is a fat white boy made of dough."

"I'm not fat! I'm big boned!"

"Sure Pillsbury Dough Boy…sure….."

"I'm not a dough boy!"

"Oooh…do you have a donut?" S.E. asked.

"No."

"You…you ate my donuts! You're as bad as Naruto!" S.E. cried out.

"I didn't steal anyone's donuts."

"Chouji….he ate my donuts and teamed up with Naruto to steal them! Well, you're not getting my fudge donuts!" S.E. protected her secret stash of fudge donuts.

"I don't want your donuts, and you're making me hungry."

"See? See! You obviously are setting a trap to get my donuts! Well, it won't work!" S.E. laughed.

"But can't I just walk down the street and go to the bakery?" Chouji was about to leave.

"NO! THAT'S MY BAKERY! THE BAKERSARE MY MINIONS!" S.E. boomed through her microphone.

Chouji looked confused.

"Your bakery?"

"Yep! And I named it Kathy!" S.E. exclaimed.

"You're weird," Chouji said.

"Thank you for the compliment, donut stealer."

"But I don't steal donuts!"

"Yeah you do."

Munch munch

"Chouji…he's actually smarter than Shikamaru…"

"No…he's smarter than me…"

"Shikamaru is stupid, he couldn't even recite the alphabet. And he has a pineapple girlfriend," S.E. recollected.

"He does? I always thought his head was shaped like a pineapple…" Chouji murmured.

All of a sudden, Shikamaru ran through the door, followed by none other than Sasquatch.

"Chouji! Don't listen to that woman!"

"It's S.E.! S and E! See Chouji, he can't spell!"

"Hi S.E.! I followed Shikamaru and wanted to know if I can-,"

"No Lee. No," S.E. covered her face with her hands.

"Please?"

"NO! NOW OUT OR I'LL GET RIYO!" S.E. threatened.

Lee, taking a look at S.E.'s security person, walked away.

"As with you, Shikamaru. Or I'll get your ex-pineapple girlfriend!" S.E. turned to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru, not wanting to spend two more troublesome weeks in the hospital, left.

"Is that true?" Chouji asked.

S.E. nervously said,

"No."

"Oh."

S.E. sighed.

"Now you know…the donut stealing fat and skinny Pillsbury Dough Boy who is in fact smarter than Shikamaru.."

"I really think that's not true…I'm going to the bakery…I'm hungry…Shikamaru's head made me hungry.."

"You're supposed to be mad!" S.E. shouted.

Chouji left the place, heading for Kathy the bakery.

"No! Kathy is mine! The donuts are mine!" S.E. cried out.

She slouched in her chair and said slowly in her microphone,

"Now you know Akimichi Chouji…I am going to stop him to going to Kathy!" And like that, S.E. ran out the building to go to Kathy the bakery.

* * *

S.E.: I love donuts -pulls out another donut- 

Chi: You do know that too much is bad for you, right?

Natasha: I'm the one that's supposed to be smart, not you Chi!

Chi: But -cries- I have a brain!

S.E.: You do? I didn't know that...


	15. Temari

Temari

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I just own me, S.E., Riyo, Kathy and erm...anything else I can't remember...

* * *

**I'm in a real shitty mood (Sorry about the language, but I am). Want to know why? My great aunt just died on Friday. She had lung cancer. Wanna know what else? That Chibi came back and said I didn't know a thing about Naruto and all that damned crap. YOU KNOW WHAT, DAMMIT? IF I DIDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT NARUTO, I WOULDN'T BE WRITING MY FIC! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY LIES ABOUT ME! I AM FRICKEN TIRED OF YOU REVIEWING MY FICTION AND TELLING ME ALL OF YOUR DAMNED SHIT! I swear, if you ever, ever, EVER come back, I'm going to disable anonymous reviews_...FOR GOOD! _I apologize to all the NICE people who are anonymous, but I can't take that idiot ANYMORE! **

**This might be my last update for a while. I'm in a hellish mood, I have to got to my great aunt's funeral, and I am losing my patience with that shit head. **

**Sorry to all the nice, understanding people if you had to hear that. I'm really angry. **

**Warning: OOCness and other crap that I'm too angry about to mention**

**

* * *

**"I can't believe they don't want to be my minions anymore…I blame Chouji…." S.E. cried, Riyo comforting her. 

"Well, you can always get another bakery," Riyo mumbled.

"BUT KATHY WAS MY BAKERY!" S.E. sobbed.

"Look what I got…a donut!" Riyo handed S.E. a donut.

_GLOMP!_

"Mine!"

Riyo left, probably trying to own Australia- I mean- do security stuff.

"Yum! I feel a lot better now, thanks to donuts! Hm?" S.E. noticed her microphone.

"Oh! Hello! I'm S.E., your assassin- _cough cough hack hack_- I meant announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's guest is none other than Temari…erm…of the sand?" S.E. said.

"About time. I was waiting for eight minutes," Temari sighed.

"Sheesh, Temari, don't be all mad about it. I WAS HAVING A BREAKDOWN!" S.E. shouted, chewing on her donut.

Temari scowled, then sat down in the chair.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

"Gaara told me about this. How'd you find out about Mr. Pumpkins?" Temari asked.

"Temari…she's the one that suggested Mr. Pumpkins to Gaara…."

"No! I was not held responsible for that! It was Kankurou's idea!" Temari shouted.

"I just made that up….I mean….you're so afraid of Gaara, you gave him a teddy bear….tsk tsk tsk…."

No comment.

"Temari….she's actually Gaara's mom…."

Temari dropped her jaw.

"Heck no! I'm not his mom! I'm his sister!"

"Who pretended to be one. So, how has life been, your son being possessed and all?" S.E. asked.

"Mom's dead!"

"You're a zombie? THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN BEING POSSESSED! AIEEEEE!" S.E. screeched.

"I'm not a zombie!"

"Wait…so that means…YOU'RE KANKUROU'S MOM? OH LORD!" S.E. shrieked.

"Eww!"

"Temari…she's actually my long lost cousin…"

"Why would I want to be related to you? You're crazy!"

"Cousin Temari! Don't speak about your family that way!" S.E. scolded.

Temari had a vein pop out of her head.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ALL THESE LIES!" Temari yelled.

"What a bad temper…mothers shouldn't have such bad tempers….unless..GASP!" S.E. covered her mouth.

"What? Forgot your medication?"

"I don't take medication! And your temper must mean…YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!" S.E. exclaimed, "Temari…she's having a baby…"

Temari could have curled up and died.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Temari yelled.

"Don't yell, it's bad for the baby." S.E. said.

"I'm not having a baby!"

"Tell me, who's the father?" S.E. asked.

Temari was about to pull out that big fan of hers until S.E. shouted,

"IS IT A BOY OR GIRL? IF IT'S A GIRL, CAN YOU NAME IT AFTER ME?" S.E. waved her arms around.

"I'm not having a baby, that's wrong, and even if I had a baby, I wouldn't name it after some crazy weird person!" Temari shouted.

"You hurt your cousin's feelings…." S.E. did a sad face.

"I'm not your cousin!"

"I'm already sad enough I lost Kathy the bakery and NOW you make me cry! What do you have to say for yourself, Temari?" S.E. started to cry buckets.

Temari did feel a little bad. Even though this idiot was crazy, her sad face WAS sad.

"….Sorry…" Temari murmured.

"HA! GOTCHA! I can't believe you fell for that!" S.E. started to laugh her head off.

Temari felt like a total idiot.

"YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!"

"Eeek! Know you know the pregnant mother of Kankurou and Gaara, the one who did IN FACT suggest Mr. Pumpkins, my cousin, the girl from the Sand!" S.E. spoke.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Temari yanked out her fan and got ready to attack S.E.

"Now you know Temari! I gotta run…my cousin is very, very scary with that fan of hers….bye!"

* * *

S.E., Chi and Natasha have no funny comments at this time, as Chi and Natasha are currently helping S.E. cool down her hell's fire anger. 


	16. Itachi

Itachi

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does. I only own me, S.E., Riyo, my stash of donuts and uhm...that's it.

* * *

**I know, why the early update? I was immediately feeling better when I saw I had 104 reviews! That's the most I ever had! ****I'm going to ****my great aunt's funeral ****the 26th of August. So...don't expect any updates that day. Oh, and the next time that shithead comes back, I'm going to disable anonymous reviews.**

**I'm trying to go back into my happy, humorous self, so if this chapter doesn't seem as funny as the first fifteen, I'm sorry. I am trying to get into a better mood.**

**My new list after Itachi: Kankurou, Haku, maybe Tsunade, Jiraiya. **

**Lots of people emailed me and reviewed saying I should do Hinata. We'll see.**

**Warning: OOCness. I'm picking on yaoi in this chapter. Remember, no flames and don't take this fic seriously.**

**A/N: Have you noticed how many SasuNaru fics there are? There's like a new one every day! It's highly disturbing me...I'm not a yaoi fan. I'm sorry, but if they were not intended to be gay...**

**

* * *

**"Ouch…my head hurts….Temari hurt my head…" S.E. came walking back up to that hard to pronounce place and sat down, with an ice pack on her head. 

"You're on in five, S.E.," Riyo told her.

"Alright…owwwie….." S.E. said.

She pulled out a donut from her stash and bit into it.

"Ahhh…nothing better than a sugar enriched donut to perk me up…whoa….that didn't come out right…" S.E. sweat dropped.

She picked up her microphone and flipped it on. She looked at her list and saw that Uchiha Itachi was next. She'd been anticipating him just as much as she was anticipating Gaara.

"Hello? Testing testing…1 2 3….ohhh…okay…Hello! I am back from my angry mood and I'm ready to continue! Hi, I'm S.E., your hired gun- _I meant_- your announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's guest…is the man we've all been waiting for….UCHIHA ITACHI!" S.E. boomed into the microphone.

She looked at the door.

"I SAID UCHIHA ITACHI!"

_Cricket cricket_

"I'M HEEEEEEERE!" Itachi came, running through the door.

"About time. You're late. Where's your invitation?"

Itachi flashed it in the air.

"Sorry. Wait, why am I even saying sorry? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Not yet, Itachi. Sit down in that chair, and we'll talk this over," S.E. smooth talked him.

Itachi wordlessly sat down in the small chair, really wanting to kill someone.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

"I'm bored."

"Itachi….he killed his entire clan….because he wanted ice cream…"

Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"That's stupid. I would never do that. I-,"

"You like chocolate ice cream…RIIIGHT?" S.E. asked.

"Why does it matter to you? And no, I didn't kill my ENTIRE clan, I spared my pathetic little brother…I'm hungry…" Itachi said.

"Aha! SEE! I told you so!"

"…"

"Itachi…he snores….in his sleep…."

"What? Who told you that- I mean- What the heck?"

"You really should stop snoring so loudly…I bet the rest of the Akatsuki feels that way…"

"I'm not snoring!"

"Itachi…he's actually part fish…."

"You must have me mixed up with Kisame. I'm human, and I feel like killing you."

"Explain why you like ice cream so much, fishy."

"You are making no sense."

"Everybody knows fishes like ice cream!" S.E. jumped in the air, happily.

Itachi sweat dropped.

"Itachi…he's actually a yaoi fan…"

"What's yaoi?"

S.E. slapped her head.

"You're a fan, and you…don't know what it is?"

"No."

"For an evil guy, you're kinda…ahem…anyway, yaoi is uhm….boy love?" S.E. nervously explained.

"EWWWWWW!" Itachi screeched like a girl.

"Itachi, you weren't acting like yourself…" S.E. said.

"That's…" Itachi was now deeply disturbed.

"I know…" S.E. patted Itachi on the back.

"I'm hungry…I'm going to leave now, before you deeply disturb me anymore. And stop lying about me," Itachi got up.

"Now you know the clan killer just because of ice cream that is part fish, snores in his sleep and is a reluctant yaoi fan. That was a lot…" S.E. sighed.

"I'm leaving!"

"Wait! Don't go!"

"…"

"Now you know Uchiha Itachi…I need to torture him more!" S.E. ran after him, but not before getting a donut.

"Gotta love them," S.E. chomped on her donut as she ran after Itachi.

* * *

S.E.: I feel better that I got over one hundred reviews. But I'm still sad and a bit angry.

Chi: Heck, I'd be happy if I got a hundred reviews

Natasha: We all know Chi...

Chi: What is that supposed to mean?


	17. Kankurou

Kankurou

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke would either die or Lee would have ninety percent of his eyebrow hair shaved off. But we can't always get what we want. I do own me, S.E., the Gaara repellent and...darn!

* * *

**Okay, I'm finally doing Kankurou! Personally, if he didn't go overboard with the 'makeup', he would look kinda cute (gets stares) What? I'm a girl!**

**List after Kankurou: Haku, Jiraiya, Tsunade, maybe Anko and maybe Hinata. Still not sure about Hinata.**

**I love the ideas and suggestions you guys give me, but sadly I cannot use them all. I don't want to become totally reliable on them. I need to make up some of mine too. It would be bad if I only used your suggestions. I thank you guys for the reviews! This is the most I EVER got!**

**Now...on with the fic!**

**

* * *

**S.E. crossed off _Uchiha Itachi_ on her list and began looking for who was next. 

"…Kankurou?...erm…okay…" S.E. raised an eyebrow.

"S.E.! You're on in five!" Riyo yelled.

"Good!"

She was merrily eating her donut and then gasped,

"I forgot! I never found Itachi! Noooooo!" S.E. said, corny dramatic music playing.

"Dude, that's my grandpa's record player! Give it back!" A surfer dude appeared.

"Oops, sorry. Tell your grandpa thanks!"

S.E. picked up the microphone and said,

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm your slaughterer- _I meant_- announcer! Today's new victim-_cough_- guest is none other than…Kankurou."

Kankurou walked in.

"I'm tired."

"Gee, good first impression, Kankurou. I was going to give you Gaara repellent, but seeing you do that, I'm not."

"Gaara repellent? Give me that!"

"No, you're tired. Show me your invitation," S.E. ordered.

He flashed it.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"Give me that Gaara repellent!"

"Kankurou…he stuffs ten pounds of oranges…in his mouth…for fresh citrus breath…"

"How is that possible? And give me that Gaara repellent!"

"No way, Citrus breath."

"Or else."

S.E., not wanting Kankurou to use one of his creepy puppets, threw him the Gaara repellent.

"Ow! It hit me on the head!"

"Hahaha, Citrus breath. Kankurou…he likes to steal Temari's make up and make himself feel pretty…"

"No way! I don't steal make up! Especially not from Temari!"

All of the sudden, Temari zoomed in and slapped Kankurou.

"You stole ALL my black waterproof makeup, Kankurou!"

"But….the stuff I have isn't waterproof…"

Temari noticed the Gaara repellent that S.E. hit Kankurou with.

"Who gave you this?"

"Up there."

Temari looked up.

"The heavens gave it to us! Mine!" Temari stole the repellent and ran off.

"See Kankurou…don't steal makeup…"

"But I didn't!"

"Then what the heck did I just see and hear?"

Silence.

"Kankurou…his mom is Temari…that would make me his cousin one removed…."

Kankurou could have died.

"Temari's not my mom! And you're not my…uhm…"

"First cousin one removed?"

"Yeah!"

"Poor poor Citrus breath…."

"Stop calling me Citrus breath, you-,"

"Kankurou…he's going to be a big brother…"

"Huh?"

"Temari's having a baby!"

Kankurou dropped his jaw.

"Temari's….what the- I will personally hunt them down!" Kankurou stood up and started to head for the door.

"Now you know…the citrus breath soon-to-be- big brother who steals Temari's makeup…."

"That's not true! Where's Temari!"

"Now you know…Kankurou…oooh! Let's organize a baby shower! I'll make the cake! Wait…I can't cook…oh well!" S.E. happily grabbed another donut.

* * *

-In the Sand- 

"I hope this Gaara repellent works," Temari sighed as she started to spray herself with it. Gaara walked in.

"You smell…like Kankurou when he hasn't washed in a month…." Gaara said.

Temari looked at the repellent and there in tiny words:

This repellent is actually not really a Gaara repellent, I just wanted to see your reaction when you found out it wasn't.

S.E.

She started to twitch her eye.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HER!"

Then Kankurou rushed in.

"I should have saw the signs…we need to find out who got you pregnant!" Kankurou said.

Gaara looked up and down at Temari.

"You're…pregnant?"

Temari felt steam come out her ears.

"I am not!"

* * *

S.E.: Hey, maybe after I run out of characters to do, want me to make a sequel?

Chi: I still wanna know what Tenten made Neji wear.

Natasha: Me too.

Neji: I'm not telling!

-S.E., Chi and Natasha sweat drop-

Tenten: But Neji, it looks cute on you! -OOC much?-

Neji: Hide me!


	18. Haku

Haku

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Sasuke Fan Club. I do own me, S.E., my donuts and uhh...anything else...

* * *

**Yes! People agree with me about Kankurou being hot with no make up on! I'M NOT ALONE! -gets awkward stares- Ahem...sorry about that. Haku was very hard to do. But I think it came out alright :)**

**List after Haku: Jiraiya, Anko, Tsunade and maybe Hinata. I need more time to think about it.**

**Warning: OOCness. Lots of rabid Sasuke fangirls. Remember, no flaming! And DO NOT take this fic seriously. Just making sure you people CAN read...**

**

* * *

**S.E. crossed off _Kankurou_ on her list and started to see who was scheduled after him. 

She saw pencil lines covering up Haku and saying 'Rock Lee' instead.

"Strange…I swore I had Haku- LEE!" S.E. yelled.

He popped up.

"My turn?"

"No. How dare you come up in the hard to prounounce place and…and…WRITE ON MY HOLY LIST! YOU WILL BE CURSED WITH NEVERENDING EEEEEVIL!" S.E. yelled.

"But I just wanna do it…" Lee said, sadly.

S.E. narrowed her eyes.

"Seeing as you practically ruin my show every day, I don't know. Now out Sasquatch, or I'll get Riyo….or an angry Sakura…"

"Sakura-chan's here? Where!"

"Riiiyo!"

"I'm leaving!" Lee ran out of the studio.

"Hah…angry Sakura…gets them everytime…"

"You're on S.E.," Riyo bellowed.

She flipped the microphone on and said,

"Hello! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your slayer-_I meant_- announcer! Today's guest took me lots of money to revive and bring back from the dead, and that guest is…Haku!"

Haku walked in.

"I haven't walked in soooo long…"

"No duh. You were dead."

"I was?"

S.E. slapped her head.

"Just…sit down."

Haku showed S.E. the invitation and sat down.

"Where's Zabuza?"

"He's dead."

Haku looked like he was about to cry.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"…"

"Haku…is really a woman who has a HUGE crush on Zabuza…and I can see why…"

"I'm a boy! I remember before I died I had millions of boys after me…and I don't like Zabuza that way…"

"Suuuure….why must you torment us? Can't you just admit you're a girl? You're girlier than…than…a boy!"

"I'm a boy!"

"Uhuh. And I make A's in math."

"You do?"

"No. I don't."

"Ohh…"

"Haku…accidentally went to a beauty pageant…and won first place…"

"That's only happened once!"

S.E. gasped.

"Really? What kind of dress did you wear? And did you impress Zabuza with your girly ways?"

"I was there on accident! And Zabuza didn't show up…"

"Riiight…"

"But…it's true.."

"Haku…only died because she's very, very suicidal…"

"What? I'm not a she! HE! HE! And I died for Zabuza…Zabuza…" Haku echoed.

"Please, don't do that. I hate echoes…" S.E. sighed, fiddling with her fingers.

"Stop calling me she!"

"Darn you Masashi Kishimoto, why'd you have to draw a manlady?"

"MANLADY!"

"Yep."

"I'm going to use that same attack I used on Sasuke…except he lived though…"

"I kinda wished you killed him. But nooo, now we have more troubles thanks to Mister Angsty-pants."

"OH NO! WE HAVE A CASE OF CODE 7419!" Suddenly, massive bunches of rabid Sasuke fangirls swarmed the studio!

"Oh no! The Sasuke Fan Club! Aieeeee!" Haku and S.E. both shouted.

"Get those two!"

"No! I need to get my ten cars of donuts! Noooo!" S.E. cried out as the fangirls were breaking very large and expensive things.

"I have to…ugh…" Haku died again before ever finishing the sentence.

"Now you know…the suicidal manlady who IS a girl, accidentally won first place in a beauty pageant and has a crush on Zabuza…whoa…Haku's dead…again…aaagh!" S.E. was being surrounded by the SFC.

"Now you know Haku! I gotta go to my fangirl shelter!" S.E. ran.

* * *

-S.E., Chi and Natasha are in the fangirl shelter- 

S.E.: AAAGH! I hate these type of fangirls!

Chi: Aren't you one?

S.E.: Kinda, but I'm not obsessed with anyone from Naruto.

Natasha: Oh really? Explain why you suddenly have six pictures of Kankurou

S.E.: Nooooo! That's doesn't mean I'm obsessed!

Kankurou: Hi. -pops up randomly-

S.E.: -dreamy look- Kankurou...-drool-

Chi: Kankurou...you might want to leave.

Kankurou: But...since Temari's gonna have a baby, I need a baby name book.

Temari: I'M NOT HAVING A BABY!


	19. Jiraiya

Jiraiya

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E., my donuts and darn! That's it!

* * *

**Whoa. 127 reviews...I feel special! Yes! MORE people agree with me on Kankurou being hot without makeup! **

**Interesting, someone suggested Konohamaru. I shall do him after Tsunade. I also got a suggestion of Kyuubi. That I shall do too :) I also got a suggestion of starting an Anti Chibi Club. Yay :)**

**Yes, I do like Zabuza (heehee). Maybe I should do him too...**

**List after Jiraiya: Anko, Tsunade, Konohamaru, Kyuubi, maybe Hinata.**

**I'm still not sure about Hinata. Maybe if I have a good week, I might consider. I'm going back to school on the 29th of August, so I can't update this as much as I like.**

**Warning: Probably OOCness. And remember, no flaming! And PLEASE don't take this fic seriously. That is all.**

**

* * *

**"No! I got more threatening notes from Kiba AND Sasuke! Those idiots…" S.E. sighed as she shredded those two slips of paper through the paper shredder. 

"S.E., we're going to have to give you a warning about our next guest. He-," Riyo was interrupted by his superior (Yeah! I'm superior!).

"Can't be worse than Lee or Sasuke. I'll be on in five," S.E. assured the doubting security man.

"Well, don't come running to me," Riyo said, then left to do stuff that is too big for S.E.

S.E. shrugged and flipped on the microphone.

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your eradicator-_cough_- low paid announcer! Today's guest is…Jiraiya!" S.E. announced.

In came the world's biggest pervert and said,

"Where am I?"

"Got your invitation?"

"Yes?"

"Good. NOW SIT!"

Jiraiya, having nothing to do but do what he does best, sat down and asked,

"Are you a girl?"

S.E. sweat dropped.

"Because it's you, I'm not going to answer your question."

He sweat dropped too and said nothing more.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I think you're a girl. Wanna pose for my next novel?" he offered.

"EWWW! HECK NO! Jiraiya…is in fact not a Super Pervert, but Super Gay…"

"I'm not gay!"

"Uhuh sure you are Jiraiya."

"But I'm not!"

"Jiraiya…his real name is Jamaica…"

"Noooo….it's not."

"Yeah right, Jamaica."

Jiraiya glared and then returned to his…well I can't say normal self.

"Jiraiya…can't summon frogs…he summons…turkeys…"

"I'm pretty sure I summon frogs and not turkeys…too bad I can't summon naked girls…"

"EWW! Super Gay just admitted it! He likes….men!"

"I didn't."

S.E. inched away from Jiraiya.

"Suuure….right. Jiraiya…got turned down on a date by Tsunade when they were genins sixty times…and when she became Hokage too…"

"That's only happened twice!"

"That's when you realized you had to be gay…"

"…"

All of a sudden, Lee came crashing through the window.

"HI S.E.!"

"Aieeeeeee!" S.E. screamed.

"Hah! You ARE a girl!" Jiraiya shouted.

"OUT LEE!"

"Aw…you don't have to be like that…" Lee said.

"OUT!"

Lee left and everything seemed well.

"I'm leaving," Jiraiya said.

"Now you know the super perverted gay turkey summoner named Jamaica that's been turned down on a date by Tsunade sixty times Sannin…"

"That's not true!"

"You should stop writing those books, Jamaica. It's very, very disturbing…."

"My name is not Jamaica!"

"Make sure you don't hit on Kakashi…" S.E.'s voice faded away.

"Why would I do that? And come back down here and stop calling me gay!"

"I love donuts…"

"Are you listening?"

"Not at all, Jamaica…" S.E. said, eating a fudge donut.

"I'm leaving!" And like that, he was gone.

"Hah…he is perverted AND gay…who knew?" She asked the audience.

* * *

S.E.: Yeah, I came up with Jamaica because my computer thought Jiraiya wasn't a word and changed it to Jamaica, even though I didn't realize it until I was proofreading it!

Chi: Computers are stupid

Natasha: We know you are, Chi.

Chi: What's that supposed to mean?

Natasha: I dunno. I just like to say that

-S.E. sweatdrops and the Sand Siblings pop up-

Temari: For the last time, I'M NOT HAVING A BABY!

Gaara: Then why are you getting fat?

Temari: ...Because I have been eating ice cream.

Kankurou: You're lying! Who got you pregnant?

S.E.: Hi Kankurou! Too bad I don't own you, but minoko-chan does!

-The Sand Siblings sweat drop-


	20. Anko

Anko

Disclaimer: No. I don't own Naruto. I just own me, S.E., Riyo, my donuts and that's it.

* * *

**A very angry A/N:**

**Do you people know how hurt I am? I just went to the funeral of my aunt who died of lung cancer, and I get horribly bad grammar reviews. All I ask is that you PLEASE don't flame and DO NOT TAKE THIS FICTION SERIOUSLY! Is that so much to ask for? Can you shit heads even read? Can you read: I AM NOT BASHING! I've read fanfics that (not naming any) make my ''bashing'' look miniscule. I am NOT bashing. And if you are going to review, review like this:**

**Good review (The ones I mostly have): I thought it was very good, entertaining, etc, makes a funny comment, suggests new characters, leaves some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and says bye or something nice. **

**That is good. That makes me feel happy and raises my self esteem.**

**Here's the fricken reviews I just got:**

**U r suh a meanie!1111!11 is it da plot 2 bash all da charactors? Teh fic is stupid, I hate u.U r bashin Lee an sasuke. I hate u.**

**I am not in a mood to be messed with. If you flame, and if you are a registered member, I'm banning you from EVER REVIEWING MY FICS! And I'm disabling anonymous reviewers for good. I'm sorry, but I can NOT take it anymore.**

**And if you review, PLEASE SPELL! Do NOT use chatspeak. You can use some, but don't be like the review up there. That peeves me greatly.**

**I'm really in a bad mood. If you are a NICE person, please, don't be mad at me. Be mad at ALL THOSE FRICKEN PEOPLE THAT CANNOT READ!**

**Oh, and by the way, please don't review on different chapters not in chronological order. READ ALL OF IT TO UNDERSTAND THE INSIDE JOKES AND ALL THAT STUFF AND THEN REVIEW ON THE LAST CHAPTER. That peeves me too.**

**List after Anko: Tsunade, Konohamaru, Kyuubi. Maybe Hinata. Still not sure.**

**Warning: Some OOCness. PLEASE DO NOT FLAME AND DO NOT TAKE THIS FIC SERIOUSLY. Just making sure all you fucking people can read. Sorry about the language. But I'm really angry.**

**

* * *

**S.E. happily crossed off Jiraiya and was making preparations for Anko, her next victim. I meant guest. 

"LalalalaLAAAAAAA-,"

"S.E., don't sing."

"Sorry Riyo!" S.E. yelled to the suffering Riyo who had to hear her sing. Riyo barely survives her singing. And by barely, it means _barely._

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E. your destroyer-_cough hiccup hack_- announcer! Today's guest is Mitarashi-,"

Anko came swooping in, similar like the time she swooped in at the end of the first chuunin exam.

"I HAVEN'T FINISHED YET! HOLD YOUR HORSES!" S.E. yelled.

"But you were taking SOOOO long!" Anko pouted.

"Sheesh. Today's guest is Mitarashi Anko. NOW SIT! And show me your invitation!" S.E. ordered Anko.

She flashed her invite and sat down.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I'm bored," Anko sighed, wanting to leave.

"Anko….is the reason why Orochimaru is gay…"

Anko dropped her jaw.

"No I'm not! He chose being gay of his own free will! The paparazzi has it mixed up!" Anko yelled.

S.E. raised her eyebrow, continuing to eat her donut.

"Uhuhm…sure…Anko…"

Anko nodded as she returned to her pouty self.

"It's true!"

"Anko…she's wearing a wig…." S.E. pointed.

"That was only for Halloween! And it was itchy! And yellow! I don't like yellow!" Anko said, recollecting her bad experience with wigs.

"Anko, you're lying. All this talk about yellow wigs is most untrue. You're wearing a wig," S.E. explained.

"But I'm not!"

"I am so glad you haven't tasted my blood."

"Huh?" Anko asked.

"Nothing!" S.E. said abruptly.

"I'm on to you…." Anko said, suspiciously.

S.E. inched away and nodded slowly. on….Anko…really does like Iruka…"

Anko dropped her jaw.

"I don't like Iruka!"

"We all know Anko…."

Anko blushed slightly then shook it away.

"I don't!"

"You know you do. Stop denying!" S.E. forcefully said.

"No I don't! No I don't!" Anko started to a have a temper tantrum.

"Wow, now I know why you're called Naruto's female counterpart…" S.E. sweat dropped.

Anko was about to say something to S.E. and then Lee popped up. Again. Whoopee.

"HI S.E.!"

"Keh! Leave!"

Lee looked determined and demanded,

"I WANT TO HAVE A TURN!"

S.E. didn't get scared easily, but Lee's anger is very, very scary.

"Uhhh…after….sometime…okay?"

Lee jumped up and down.

"Okay!"

He left.

"You're intending to keep that, right?" Anko asked.

"Not really. But I'm too tired to force him to leave," S.E. collapsed onto the floor.

"Are you awake?"

"Anko…she should be the godmother to Temari's baby…."

Anko looked confused.

"Someone's having a baby? Oh! Babies!" Anko seemed interested.

Somewhere, Temari's voice was heard.

"I'M NOT HAVING A BABY!"

"YEAH YOU ARE!" S.E. shouted back.

Silence.

"I know that voice….who is it…?" Anko wondered. S.E. slapped her head.

"Now you know…the reason of Orochimaru's gayness, the Iruka lover, wig wearing godmother…err…that is Anko…"

"I don't have a wig!"

"Shut up. Now you know Mitarashi Anko."

S.E. ate another donut as Anko left to throw a fit somewhere else.

"HEY! IF YOU ADMIT YOUR LOVE TO IRUKA, CAN I GET HIS AUTOGRAPH?" S.E. asked.

"NOO!"

"Awww…but I want his autograph…" S.E. sighed.

* * *

No comments at this time. Instead, be very sad. Sad at all those idiots that made me feel angry. 


	21. Iruka

Iruka

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Darn it, Kishimoto-sama cheated and now HE owns Naruto! I will be avenged! I do own me, S.E., Riyo and the midget rebellion and Otari.

* * *

**It's been a while. I just started school again (ugh) and I'm in 8th grade now! So that means school+homework equals not a lot of free time. I'll try to update as I can, which doesn't mean everyday. I'll try to keep updating maybe 2 or 3 times a week if possible. **

**I feel better thanks to the nice reviews I got :) THANK YOU!**

**List after Iruka: Tsunade, Konohamaru, Kyuubi. I'm still unsure about Hinata. We'll see :)**

**Warning: Some OOCness, and a smudge of Iruka/Anko if you squint your eyes and look upside down and do the hokey pokey. I really like that couple too :D**

**Now, on with the fic!**

**

* * *

**"Haha! Woohoo! Go me!" S.E. crossed off _Mitarashi Anko_ on her death list and looked at the next name. 

"Uhh…S.E.? Tsunade's drunk again. She won't come today. So we scheduled Iruka to come," Riyo sighed.

"…Uhh…'kay?" S.E. raised her eyebrow and dismissed Riyo. She grabbed another donut from her complimentary box of donuts sent in by her worshipers-I meant- fans.

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! Today's guest would have been Tsunade, but seeing she's drunk, we have Iruka. Woohoo."

S.E. let in Iruka, having second thoughts about the place.

"I have a bad feeling about this place…."

S.E. nervously laughed.

"Ehehe…what makes you say that? Oh! Can I….have your autograph?" S.E. asked.

Iruka stepped away from her.

"Uhh…no?"

"Alright, we'll do it the hard way. SIT IN THE CHAIR AND SHOW ME YOUR INVITATION!" S.E. roared. Iruka, fearing the girl's voice, sat down. Muwhahahaha.

"Uhhh…my dog ate it."

"But Iruka! You don't have a dog!"

"Kiba's dog ate it on the way I was here."

"I knew it….he's conspiring against me! Oh…uhh…know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Silence.

"Hey…Iruka?"

"What? Who are you?"

"I'm a girl. And has Anko asked you out yet?"

Iruka barely blushed, then returned to somewhat normal. (Yeah, we all know you like Anko….yeaaaaah..)

More silence. So much more silence that it could be a sign…of the Apocalypse.

"AAAAGH! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" yelled a person in the audience.

S.E. twitched her eye and said,

"SECURITY!"

Riyo dragged the crazy idiot outside.

"Oookaee…." Iruka said, a little weirded out.

"Iruka…he's obsessed with raccoons…"

Iruka laughed.

"Uhh….no I don't."

"Explain why your name means raccoon."

"But it doesn't! It's…uhh…dolphin!" Iruka remembered.

"Suuure, Raccoon-lover."

"I hate them! They always get in my trash at night! I'LL FIND YOU!" Iruka bellowed.

S.E. widened her eyes.

"Iruka…is actually the Emeril guy's sister…"

"Huh? I don't have any siblings- I'M NOT A GIRL!"

"Iruka….his name is Imilly, which must mean raccoon…"

"I'm not a girl! And I don't like Emeril!"

Everybody gasped. Even the people in Naruto gasped. Even the rivals Gai and Kakashi gasped.

"IMILLY! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR OWN KIN!" S.E. scolded.

"But…I'm not related to him!" Iruka denied.

S.E. started getting out boxes of donuts, NOT tissues and started to cry.

"I'm telling on you!" S.E. said.

"But-,"

"Iruka…he does pushups everyday-,"

"How'd you know?" Iruka demanded.

"I didn't finish, Imilly. You do pushups everyday…_while looking at Anko's picture_…"

Iruka almost had a terrible nosebleed. This was good, because no way was S.E. going to clean it up.

"I never expected, you, Imilly, out of all people to be taking Kakashi's advice-wait a minute! If you're a girl….LESBIAN!" S.E. ran out of breath.

Iruka died. And then I had to revive him. Which took me lots of money.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!" Iruka yelled.

"Hey, be nice Imilly, I just revived you."

"My name's not Imilly!"

"Uhuh…riiight."

"But it's not!"

"Now you know…the raccoon-lover sister of Emeril who's name means raccoon, does pushups everyday while looking at a picture of Anko and is a lesbian…whoa….who knew?"

"Take that back! You can't lie about me!" Iruka shouted.

"I have to, or else I'll lose my job. Who'll feed my poor, sad little midget rebellion?" S.E. cried, holding one of the midgets.

Iruka stepped away.

"Now you know…Iruka…."

"No they don't!"

"Attack, my midget rebellion! Get me his autograph!" S.E. made the midget rebellion go after Iruka, who ran out the door faster than you could say 'chili dog'.

"Man…I do hope they catch him…oooh! DONUT!" S.E. leapt onto a donut.

* * *

S.E.: Otari, my midget rebellion commander, have you found Iruka? 

Otari: Nope. I sent out a cavalry, but no trace.

S.E.: Darn.

Chi: Look! HI OTARI!

Natasha: Here we go again...

Otari: Eeek!

Chi: MINE!

S.E.: -sweatdrop-

-Lee pops up-

Lee: Hi S.E.! I got you -opens a green bag (oooh how original)- DONUTS!

S.E.: You're not trying to hit on me are you?

Lee: -nervous laugh- N-no...can I be on the show? -bats eyes-

-shoves Lee away and eats donuts-

S.E.: Yumm...the taste of using others at your advantage...yummy!


	22. Tsunade

Tsunade

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did...ehehe...(giggles to self) I do own me, S.E., Otari, and uhhhh I guess my donuts :)

* * *

**Hello! Que pasa! (it means what's up). Ehehe, I'm taking Spanish, so...uhhhh yeah! It's been kinda busy, and I was going to post this yesterday, but I didn't have the time :( So I did it today :)**

**List after Tsunade: Konohamaru, Kyuubi, and the one that took me a LOT of people to persuade me to do, Hinata. **

**I'm getting e-mails about whether I'm doing Lee. Kekeke...we'll see in the sequel :P**

**Warning: Uhhh...OOCness I guess. And other stuff.**

* * *

"Otari, did ya catch him?" S.E. asked one of the 'taller' midgets, the midget commander. 

"The seventh division thinks he's near some hair salon. Or it could be that guy that we jumped last week…"

S.E. gave him a puzzled look. Or more of a 'What-did-I-say-about-jumping-people' look.

"He called us short!"

S.E. sighed and said,

"Carry on," as she dismissed Otari.

S.E. crossed off _Iruka_ on her list and flipped on her microphone.

"Hello! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm your cause of death- I meant- not paid enough announcer! Today's guest is the Hokage, also known as Tsunade!"

Tsuande stumbled in, probably experiencing a hangover.

"Uhh…Riyo? Is it safe for her to come in with a hangover?" S.E. asked her trusty security man.

"We'll keep an eye on her," Riyo assured the girl.

"Okay."

S.E. returned to her microphone.

"Hiya Tsunade!"

"….hiccup…hello…S.E….hiccup!" Tsunade hiccupped.

S.E. rolled her eyes and said,

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

Tsunade perked up and looked around.

"Where am I? Where's Shizune? Where's my lottery ticket?"

S.E. raised a brow and stepped away.

"Tsunade…thinks Jiraiya is gay."

Tsunade didn't respond until ten minutes later.

"Huh? Oh! No, Jiraiya's just a pervert."

"Tsunade, he's gay. He admitted it."

Tsunade awed in wonder and then sighed,

"I should have saw that coming."

S.E. nodded and tried to think of another way to torture the Fifth Hokage.

"Tsunade…she watches gory movies…"

Tsunade dropped her jaw.

"I'm hematophobic! I hate seeing blood!"

"That's what they all say…you should really try watching this one I have at home. It has no lessons in learning, no common sense, and it's gory!"

Tsunade stiffened.

"I'll pass."

S.E. laughed maniacally and continued on.

"Tsunade…is in debt…you owe me fifty bucks!"

"No I don't! And Shizune pays for my debt!"

"Uhuh sure, put it on poor Shizune's tab…you're going to end up being a homeless hobo. Wait…yeah!" S.E. exclaimed.

Tsunade was now a bit angry.

"I hate you!"

"Thanks for the compliment, hobo."

"I'm not a hobo! I'm the Hokage!"

"Yeah, the Hokage who's a hobo. Hey! Tsunade's a hobo!" S.E. yelled to the world. Well, not really, but she tried.

"I'm not!"

"Tsunade…thinks Orochimaru and Jiraiya should hook up."

"EWWWW! I hate Orochimaru, and Jiraiya's not gay!"

"What part of 'Jiraiya is gay' did you not get? Are you BLIND?" S.E. roared.

"Blind? Isn't it deaf? And no, Jiraiya is NOT gay!" Tsunade yelled.

"So? I don't care!" S.E. stuck out her tongue.

Tsunade folded her arms together.

"Now you know….the person who thinks Jiraiya is gay, watches gory movies, is in debt AND is a homeless hobo, thinks Orochimaru and Jiraiya should hook up and is blind Hokage!"

"I'm not blind! Or deaf!"

"You can't hear me, blind person!" S.E. taunted.

"Yeah too!"

"Now you know…Tsunade…"

"I'm leaving…I'm going to have a nice glass of sake and then gamble…and forget about you," Tsunade walked out, almost recovering from her hangover.

"Forget about me? NOOO! I don't want to be forgotten!" S.E. cried.

S.E. sat down in her spinny chair and sighed and reached for another donut.

"This job brings me so much pain…oooh! Another box of donuts from my loyal fans! Woohoo!" S.E. happily wept tears of joy.

* * *

S.E.: I wuv my donuts!

Chi: I wuv Otari!

Natasha: Chi and Otari sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-...-gets interupted by Chi-

Chi: Stop making fun of me! -cries-

-S.E. sweatdrops-


	23. Konohamaru

Konohamaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Alvin and the Chipmunks. I would be a happier person and actually have a LIFE if I did. I just own me, S.E., Riyo, Otari, my rabid moose, and my midget rebellion. But I don't own Kleenex either.

* * *

**Hiya guys. Betcha didn't see this coming, did ya? YES! THE FIRST WEEK OF HELL- I MEANT- EIGHTH GRADE IS OVER! YAHOO! God, it was eternity! And we don't have school on Labor Day! Now if only I knew why it's called Labor Day...(ponders)**

**List after Konohamaru: Kyuubi, Yondaime, Hinata.**

**I'm doing Yondaime before Hinata mainly b/c I want to do Hinata last. **

**Just a few more chapters, and then it will be done (sigh). I will do a sequel, but I can't reveal anymore b/c it's a secret...ehehe...**

**Now, on with the fic!

* * *

"Hey! Brownies! Woohoo! I might not like them as much as donuts, but hey! Yum!" S.E. chirped as she bit into a fudge brownie.**

"You need to stop eating so much chocolate," Riyo sighed.

"Hey! Chocolate is GOD!" S.E. exclaimed.

"And I'm the king of Spain."

"Good for you."

Riyo shook his head and left.

"Uhh….oh!" S.E. flipped on the microphone, "Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your killer- I mean- host! Today's guest is….erm…Konohamaru."

In came the little boy, skipping in and surprisingly not tripping over that dangerously long scarf.

"That's a safety hazard, you know. YOU COULD DIEEEEEE!" S.E. raised her hands up.

"Nuh uh," he said, standing there.

"Sit. In the chair and show me your invitation," S.E. ordered the little kid.

"No. I don't FEEL like it."

"Little brat, you better. Or I'll…I'll…aha! I'll get out a rabid moose!" S.E. threatened.

"Moose?"

"Yeah!"

"I'm sitting."

Little did Konohamaru know that S.E. now had something to torture him.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I'm bored!"

"Konohamaru…was named after a brand of tissues….Kleenex to be exact…"

"What? No I wasn't!"

"Ewww…what sick human would name their kid after a brand of tissues…"

"Hey! I'm KONOHAMARU, NOT KLEENEX!"

"I'm surprised you can even say your name right, tissue boy."

"My name isn't Kleenex!"

"Yep. It is."

Konohamaru crossed his arms infront of his chest and pouted.

"Konohamaru…is really one of my midget rebels from my midget rebellion…"

This really made him mad.

"I'M NOT A MIDGET!"

"Explain why you're so short, Kleenex."

"Stop calling me Kleenex! And I'm just a little short for my age!"

"Riiight. And I'm the CEO of the Infinite Donut Trade Center."

"Huh?"

"(sigh)…nevermind…"

"I wanna leave."

"Well…TOO BAD!"

"Hmph."

"Konohamaru…he steals purses from-GASP!- Old ladies! How could you!" S.E. smacked him.

"I only did it once! And I was three!"

"Think about how the old ladies feel. Their life savings might have been in that purse! Shame on you!"

"Who carries their life savings in their purse?" Konohamaru asked.

S.E. whistled.

"Some…people!"

"You?"

"Ehehe…THAT'S MY BUSINESS!" S.E. shouted.

"I'm hungry."

"Konohamaru…is actually the son of Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks…that explains why you look so weird…"

"Who's this 'Alvin'? And I'M NOT A CHIPMUNK!" Konohamaru stomped his feet.

"Dude….don't be ashamed. Your father knows being part chipmunk is such a hassle for you…"

"I'm not part chipmunk!"

"Your real name is Kleenex Chippy McBuckybuckytooth! Hey, can I see your teeth?"

"I don't have buck teeth!"

"Poor Kleenex Chippy…"

"My name isn't Kleenex OR Chippy! Stop making fun of me!" Konohamaru growled.

"Ooooh! Are you going to use your chipmunk powers to defeat me?" S.E. asked.

"What the-No!"

"Now you know….the Kleenex, old ladies' purse stealer, midget rebel, son of Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks, has chipmunk powers and his real name is Kleenex Chippy McBuckybuckytooth!" S.E. announced.

"I'm telling on you!"

"Go ahead, tell on me to your father, Kleenex Chippy."

"My father isn't a chipmunk!"

"And my name isn't S.E."

"It isn't?"

"Yes it is."

"I hate you!"

"Now you know…Konohamaru…."

Konohamaru stomped out, pouting and unhappy. On the contrary, S.E. was having a ball.

"Weehee! Go me, go me. Uhuh, uhuh uhuh oh yeah! I RULE!" S.E. happily yelled, throwing blue and yellow confetti in the air and eating donuts and getting fanmail.

* * *

S.E.: I'm so glad the first week of school is over...

Chi: -gagging Otari- You mean Shoocl?

S.E.: Uhh...sure...

Natasha: Oooh! Look! Otari's turning purple!

-Everybody stares at Otari, who is in fact turning purple-

Kankurou: I think you should let him go.

Chi: NO!

Gaara: I think he's suffocating

Temari: Me too.

Chi: -looks at the purple faced Otari-

Chi: He's suffocating with love!

-Everbody sweatdrops-


	24. Kyuubi

Kyuubi

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Poke'mon. I just own me, S.E., Riyo and my donuts.

* * *

**I was originally going to upload this next week, but since I wanted to get this overwith, here it is.**

**_Bold Italics- _Kyuubi speaking**

" "- Normal talk

**I was laughing at the reviews I got. I feel happier!**

**List after Kyuubi: Yondaime and lastly Hinata.**

**Don't ask me to add more people. I've already decided Yondaime and Hinata will be last.**

**Warning: OOCness maybe. No flaming and don't take this fic seriously.**

**I've heard that Kyuubi is a girl. Is this true? I think Kyuubi's a boy. If I'm wrong, just pretend Kyuubi's a boy.**

**Now, on with the show!**

_**

* * *

**_

S.E. was once again eating none other than a donut. She crossed off Konohamaru and looked to see who was next.

"Good ol' Kyuubi, eh? This is gonna be a hard one, but anyway- Riyo!" S.E. called for her security advisor.

"Yes?"

"How am I supposed to torture-_cough cough_- talk to Kyuubi? Naruto certainly won't let me."

This was indeed a puzzling dilemma.

"I have an idea," Riyo whispered to S.E.

"Good one!"

--

Naruto was strolling down the street. After being humiliated by a voice, he vowed never to do that again. Then, in the same place as the studio, THERE WAS A RAMEN BAR!

"Oooh! Ramen! I'm hungry!" Naruto ran to the ramen bar and saw S.E. wearing a red wig, so he wouldn't recognize her.

"Can I have ramen with miso?"

"Sure!"

And just like that, before Naruto knew it, S.E. had knocked him out with a frying pan.

"Okay Riyo, drag him back," S.E. ordered Riyo as he dragged the unconscious fox boy in the studio.

--

And after some science-fiction related stuff that's too intelligent to explain, they could now hear the Kyuubi, even though he was inside Naruto.

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., the assassin- I meant- low minimum waged announcer. Today's victim- I mean- _guest_ is the one, the only Kyuubi!" S.E. announced.

_**Am I free? I'M FREE! NO MORE RAMEN! WOOHOO- er...ahem- WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE AMONGST MY PRESENCE!**_

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

_**You! Up there! Am I free?**_

"Sorry Kyuubi, but you're still inside Naruto."

_**Darn. So, where am I?**_

"I'm S.E. And you're in the Know Your Stars: Naruto Style studio."

_**Oh.**_

"Kyuubi…really needs to get a girlfriend…"

_**Girlfriend? THE GREAT KYUUBI DOES NOT NEED A MATE!**_

"Any nice vixens you've seen, Kyuubi?"

_**THEY ARE NOT WORTHY OF ME!**_

"Gosh, Kyuubi, you're so VAIN! You're never going to get a girlfriend that way."

Cricket chirps.

"Kyuubi….is related to Ninetales from Poke'mon."

_**I AM NOT RELATED TO THAT THING!**_

"Explain why you look alike."

_**ALRIGHT I ADMIT IT! NINETALES IS MY COUSIN WHO IS NOT AS GLORIUS AS I AM! THAT THING IS A-**_

"Kyuubi! Don't use foul language; children are watching, 'kay Kyube?"

_**KYUBE? IT'S KYUUBI, THE ALL POWERFUL AND MIGHTY!**_

"You're such an egomaniac. Kyuubi…eats green eggs and ham…."

_**WHAT? GREEN EGGS? IS THAT POSSIBLE?**_

"Yup. It says so here!" S.E. flashed the Dr. Seuss book.

_**That's not a book! GREEN EGGS AND HAM IS IMPOSSIBLE!**_

"Poor Kyube…he's hit with the truth…"

_**THAT IS NOT TRUE!**_

S.E. ignored his yelling and said,

"Kyuubi…uses ten pounds of fur gel to keep himself silky smooth…"

_**I ONLY BUY THE BEST- I MEAN- HOW CAN I BUY HAIR GEL WHEN I'M STUCK INSIDE THIS INSOLENT, NAÏVE BOY!**_

"Maybe Naruto buys it for you, somehow brings it to you, and you use it," S.E. explained, like it was first grade stuff.

_**HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? YOU ARE LYING!**_

S.E. sighed and continued on.

"Kyuubi…plays DDR when everybody is not looking…"

_**DDR?**_

"Dance Dance Revolution."

_**OOH! FUN FUN FUN! I MEAN, WHY WOULD I PLAY SUCH A GAME?**_

"You made high score last week."

_**REALLY? COOL! I meant- STOP LYING!**_

"Now you know…the desperate need for a girlfriend, related to Ninetales, eats green eggs and ham, buys only the best fur gel, and the DDR playing fox demon…"

_**STOP IT! THE GREAT KYUUBI DEMANDS YOU!**_

"Now you know…Kyuubi…"

_**YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR DISRESPECT FOR THE WONDERFUL KYUUBI! I WILL-**_

S.E. turned off the machine and Kyuubi was heard no more.

"That was fun…oh! A donut car! I'VE BEEN WAITING!" S.E. ran outside and saw her donut car.

--

Meanwhile, Naruto woke up from his unconsciousness. He scratched his head and asked,

"Uhnnn…where am I? And why do I feel the need for fur gel?"

* * *

S.E.: That one was definitely my favorite.

Chi: Mine too!

Natasha: Oh look. It's Sakura.

-Sakura appears-

Sakura: My forehead isn't that big!

S.E.: Aaagh!


	25. Yondaime

Yondaime

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I just own me, S.E., Riyo, my Revive-A-Nator...and uhhhh...anything else that is mine!

* * *

**I've been swamped with school work...ugh...so I was going to post this yesterday but I couldn't because I didn't have any freetime :( Don't kill me! **

**I can't believe that after Hinata, this will be OVER! Don't worry, I'll have a sequel, but I'll tell you more later in the last chapter.**

**List after Yondaime: Hinata. Then an afterword which has a sneak preview of the sequel, Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back!**

**Warning: Since we don't really know the TRUE character of Yondaime, it can't be too OOC...right? Remember, no flames and PLEASE don't take this fic seriously.**

**

* * *

**S.E. crossed off _Kyuubi_ and looked to see who was next. Yondaime. 

"Thanks to this bag of infinite money, I can get a another reviving machine! Yahoo!" S.E. called on Riyo and handed him her bag of infinite money and told him to buy the Revive-A-Nator.

"Lalala…lalalala…..I'M BORED!" S.E. shouted. "Is it here yet?"

"GOT IT!" Riyo threw the two ton machine in the hard to pronounce place.

"Gyyyaaaah! My leg!" S.E. cried out.

"Sorry!"

**-Two hours later-**

"I got his body! He looks….now…who does he look like?" S.E. put a finger on her lip.

Riyo shook his head and sighed.

"Uzumaki Naruto-_cough cough_," he said.

"Okay, now to revive him…" S.E. put an electrical shocker thingy on Yondaime's chest and said,

"SHOCK HIM!"

Riyo flipped on two thousands volts.

"AAAGH!" He immediately came back to life.

"Hiya dude!" S.E. grinned.

"Wh-where am I?"

"In the Know Your Stars: Naruto Style studio."

"Reeeally?"

"Yup."

"Okay. But…I'M ALIVE! YEAH!"

"Yup, we definitely know who he's like…" Riyo commented, meaning Naruto.

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm S.E., your murederer-I mean- announcer AND host! Today's guest is Yondaime!"

He waved.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…."

"I'm alive! Is the Kyuubi gone?"

"Yup, you sealed him inside a baby boy who turned out to be a town idiot- I mean- a baby boy," S.E. quickly said.

He nodded.

"Yondaime…doesn't want to be my friend…how mean can you be?" She cried.

"But…you didn't ask…and who are you?"

"Didn't you listen to the announcement? I'M S.E.!"

"Oh….sorry…do you want to be my friend?"

"You said no! YOU'RE MEAN!"

Yondaime was confused.

"Yondaime….his real name means cow pie…"

"No it's not."

"Hahaha! Cow pie! You're silly!" S.E. said in a high pitched voice.

"Okay?"

"Why would someone name you cow pie? COWS LIKE PIE!" S.E. shouted.

Yondaime was now deeply perturbed by S.E.

"My name does not mean cow pie."

"Whatever, cow pie. Yondaime…is more of a pervert than Jiraiya…stop looking at me like that!"

"No…you must have me confused with the Ultra Pervert. I'm not."

"Explain these magazines I found-,"

"Shhhh! They are not mine!"

S.E. stuffed them in the paper shredder.

"And now they aren't theirs either."

"Huh?"

S.E. sighed.

"Nevermind."

Silence.

"Yondaime…he was a bad influence on Kakashi….bad you!" S.E. scolded him.

"I liked Kakashi. I wasn't TOO harsh," Yondaime replied.

"BAD INFLUENCE!"

"No I'm not!"

"Cow pie!"

"Stop that!"

"I don't wanna!"

And so went the long and stupid argument.

-Eighty seven seconds later-

"Ultra Pervert!" S.E. threw an insult at him.

"HI S.E.!"

S.E. jerked her head around and saw Lee.

"Gah! Why….why are you here? I'm trying to run a show here!"

"Can I go?"

"NO!"

"You're mean!"

"Yes I'm not!"

Lee looked puzzled and pouted.

"Get out of here, Lee. Maybe another time," lied S.E.

"Yay!"

"What the heck was that about?" Yondaime asked, looking at the _skipping_ boy walking out the door.

S.E. sighed.

"Long story. Now…where was I?"

Silence.

"Oh! Yondaime…has thirty six ex girlfriends…I don't blame them…."

"I only have four!"

"Riiight Yondaime….you have so many exes, you barely remember why you broke up with them!"

"What part of 'I only have four' did you not get?"

"Any of it, apparently. You have thirty six, THE END!" S.E. emphasized 'the end'.

Yondaime crossed his arms.

"Now you know…the guy who doesn't want me to be his friend who's name means cow pie, the ultra pervert, the bad influence on Kakashi and the guy who has thirty six ex girlfriends! Yeah!" S.E. said.

"It's four! And I wasn't a bad influence!"

"Tell it to the judge."

"Fine! I'll use a-,"

_Clunk!_

Yondaime collapsed, being dead. Again.

"What? He was supposed to be alive for another three hours! Oh well….Now you know…Yondaime…."

S.E. swore she heard a voice saying,

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

She shook her head, flipped off the microphone and grabbed a fudge donut.

"Another day…another wacky person….my job is SO hard….Ooh! Cookies!" S.E. pulled out a cookie from a box.

* * *

S.E.: Wow...this is my 25th chapter...woohoo! 

Chi: FRISBEE!

Natasha: I don't wanna know what's that about...

S.E.: Me neither!


	26. Hinata

Hinata

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Naruto. I do own me, S.E., Riyo...and uhhh...other junk

* * *

**I can't believe this is over! Well, not entirely, but still! I had lots of fun doing this. Yes, I know I didn't do some people, but I wanted to make Hinata last. Maybe you can suggest a new character for the sequel, Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! It has more humor, more random chickens AND your favorite announcer, S.E.! The afterword will be here shortly, and it includes a special surprise! So don't cry my friends, instead...BE HAPPY!**

**Last chapter. No one's after Hinata.**

**Warning: Uhhh...OOCness? Oh and I don't care if you don't agree with me, but I think Hinata only stutters around Naruto-kun (heehee I couldn't resist!) Remember, no flames and PLEASE don't take this seriously. Oh, and for all you NaruHina fans (I'm one!), don't be mad at me after this chapter. Just a heads up.**

**Now...on with the show! Er...fic?**

**

* * *

**They say life is short. That's true. They say what comes around, goes around. That's karma. They also say that putting a finger through an electrical socket is very, very bad. Well, heck with them. When has quotes ever done for us? 

S.E. sat in her chair, pondering these very questions. But it didn't last very long, either because she had a short attention span or she had better things to do.

She crossed off _Yondaime_. She smiled at the party the audience had surprised her with for her last show.

"Aww…you guys really shouldn't have," then S.E. noticed a bag of donuts, "Oh wow! Thanks!"

After five minutes, the party stopped and S.E. began to set up for her last guest, her favorite, Hyuuga Hinata.

"WHEEEEE! CONFETTI!" Okay, she wasn't.

"S.E., Hinata will be here in five," Riyo warned her.

She stopped. "Okay doke!"

She went up to that hard to pronounce place and flipped on her microphone.

"HELLO! Welcome to the party-er-I mean- Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style! I'm none other than your favorite announcer, S.E.! Today's guest is the girl that we have all waited for! Hyuuga Hinata!" S.E. grinned.

The door cracked open as the shy, quiet Hyuuga heir walked in.

"Hello?"

S.E. could not hold in her excitedness.

"HI HINATA! Yay!" S.E. shouted.

"Er…h-hi…"

"Show me your invitation! Then sit down!"

Hinata showed S.E. the black and green invite and sat down.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"Uhm…is…N-Naruto-kun here?"

S.E. shook her head.

"A long time ago."

Silence.

"Hinata-san…is actually a punk rocker who has THREE nose piercings!"

Hinata looked shocked.

"I'm not, I really don't like punk rock. And I-I really d-d-on't have nose piercings…"

"Hey, what's your band name?"

"Red Lake- erm- I am not in a band," Hinata blushed.

"Oooh! Did it hurt when you got your nose pierced?"

Hinata was surprised.

"I haven't had my nose pierced."

"Riiight….Hinata…thinks Naruto is a jerk and is going out with Kiba…"

The entire world gasped. NaruHina fans gasped. S.E. did too. This could not be happening! It's the end of the world! Run!

S.E. couldn't even believe she said those words.

All of a sudden, Kiba popped up.

"Turkey sandwich!" S.E. cried out.

"I knew one day you would stop admiring that jerk and-,"

"Kiba-kun, you're a g-g-ood f-friend, but I don't l-like you…_like that_."

Kiba frowned.

"I see. I-,"

S.E. kicked him out.

"NO ROMANCE!"

Hinata could have died. Then she felt blood running through her veins and started to steam and get furious

"I DON'T THINK NARUTO-KUN'S A JERK!" Hinata's voice boomed through the studio as S.E. clinged on to her chair for dear life. Who knew the shy, quiet Hyuuga could be so scary and loud.

S.E. was afraid now.

"Eeee…Hinata is so scary! Waaaaah!" S.E. cried. Hinata, not being an evil person, consoled S.E.

"Hinata…is a great masseur…hey, can you give me a back massage? Or feet? FEET!" S.E. waved her arms around.

"Um…no?"

"Oooh…" the audience echoed.

"Shaddup! PLEASE! I'm a good person!"

"I'm not a masseur!" Hinata said.

"Sheesh…what a mean person…"

Silence.

"Uhm….can I go now?" Hinata asked.

"Hinata…wants to bring down the Main House…"

Neji poofed out of nowhere and declared,

"THAT'S ME!"

"Oh. By the way, not gay but is gay guy, what did Tenten make you wear?" S.E. asked.

"I'm not telling!"

"Loser."

"Freak!"

Hinata stood helplessly as she watched her cousin and S.E. fight. And ate popcorn.

"LEAVE!" S.E. shoved Neji out the door.

"I still can't believe you want to bring down your own family."

"But I'm not!" Hinata said, humiliated.

"Now you know the punk rocker with three nose earrings, the person who thinks Naruto is a jerk and is going out with Kiba, the masseur and the girl who wants to bring down the Main House Hyuuga heir!" S.E. announced.

"That's not true…" Hinata said.

"Yup. It is. Oh my god! You're my last guest! That means…" S.E. said aloud.

"What is i-it?"

"FAREWELL PARTY! Woohoo! Riyo! Get out the cake and confetti and chickens! Hinata-san, you can celebrate!"

Hinata didn't want to be around this idiot so she shook her head politely and left.

"Aww man….I even bought her two tons of iron to whack people in the head with…" S.E. pouted.

"It's part-tay time!" the audience cheered.

She perked up.

"Yeah! It's been so long, I came all this way! Yeah!" S.E. danced and ate at the SAME TIME! Yeah! Multitasking!

"Uhhh…S.E.?" Riyo asked.

"Yeah?"

"Confetti!"

"Yeah!"

And they all lived happily ever after. Except for the chickens. They turned into barbeque. And were eaten by Chouji.

* * *

S.E.: I'm so sad this is over...oh well! Want cake?

Chi: No.

Natasha: Remember last time you baked?

-remembrance-

S.E.: -nervous laugh- Ehehehe...no?


	27. Afterword

Afterword

Disclaimer: Uhm...Me don't own Naruto. I just own me and my story I guess...

* * *

**This is just like an afterword where I explain my feelings, and story about how I wrote KYS: NS. You can read it if you want to, I'm not forcing you. But you might want to read the sneak peeks. I'm really sad it's over, but I have a special present for all of you...** **

* * *

**I am truly proud of my fiction. I really had oodles of fun making Know Your Stars: Naruto Style. I got the idea when I noticed that Naruto did not, in fact, have a Know Your Stars. Being a once-avid Know Your Stars fan, I decided that this was not unacceptable and someone had to do it. So I did! 

I never expected to get so many reviews, comments and emails about this. After Hinata's chapter, I averaged out the average amount of reviews I got for each chapter: almost nine! I feel like I really accomplished something!

This is probably my most favorite fic of all. I enjoyed typing down the torture-er- humor in the story, and I mean it.

My most favorite chapters to do were: Orochimaru And Kabuto, Neji, Kiba, Gai, Kakashi, Ino, Kyuubi, Yondaime, Hinata and the Sand Siblings chapters were funny as heck. Don't get me wrong, I liked all of them, but these are my personal favorite.

I have received countless reviews and emails whether or not I'm going to do Lee. The answer is: It's for me to know, and you to figure out. Remember, the more you ask, the less it will happen. So don't whine, 'kay? Good. Oh, and I do know I didn't do some people, such as Shizune or Kisame. Why? I don't know either. I wanted to make Hinata last. Maybe they'll be in the sequel.

Which brings me to this: I have a special treat for all my loyal reviewers and fans. I have TWO sneak previews of upcoming Naruto stories by yours truly! Yeah, you heard me, TWO. One is the awaited sequel, Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! So, with no more further interruptions I presume, here is a snippet from Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back:

-----

"S.E., it's time," Riyo told the girl.

She nodded seriously and flipped on the microphone, dusting it off.

"Hello folks, it's me, S.E.! Yes, I, the leader of the midget rebellion-_cough_- I meant, announcer, has come back!"

The audience clapped and cheered loudly. Some people even roared.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" S.E. smiled, "And now…Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back!" she loudly announced to the cheering audience.

-------

Didn't it sound good? Yeah, it does : ) About the order for the guests, I'm going to do them in a organized way. I'm not saying any names, mainly because it could change in the future. Expect the sequel to be out in a couple days.

--

Now, since that's over and done, I would like to thank everyone, even my reviewers for not giving up on me even when I got nasty reviews and when my aunt died, you still had faith in me. I thank you.

Now, before everyone gets all mushy and gushy, S.E. would like to say some words.

"CHICKENS! Oh, and wait for the sequel! BYA!"

That was all.

Thanks. And look for those two fics.

Until I pop up again,

S.E.

* * *

S.E.: Great...more typing for me to do... 

Chi: You should have thought of that BEFORE!

Natasha: Don't be so mean, Chi.

Chi: And I should care...why?

-Natasha sweat drops-


End file.
